I think it's odd that most recruiters do not seem to know what they essential duties are. Just looking at it quickly one would think that a recruiter's job is to find qualified candidates. In the field of computers this often means looking at buzzwords and matching them up. But it's more than buzzword matching (http://jobscan.co can do that for you). It's really knowing the technologies behind the buzzwords to know that, for example, Jenkins is essentially the same as Electric Commander whereas MySQL is not really at all like MongoDB though they do share the characteristic of both being databases, one uses SQL and the other is No SQL.

I get way too many "offers" by recruiters - typically Indian recruiters - for positions that I would have thought I was not qualified for. For example, the client will say that 3+ years experience with AWS is required and I do not have any AWS experience yet (I've played around with it at home and have taken some online courses but it's clear the client wants 3+ years of actual experience not classroom experience). But the recruiter will contact me nonetheless. Or a recruiter will approach me for a Salesforce developer job. The word Salesforce appeared on my resume once. I helped the Salesforce team integrate into JIRA via a plugin. I configured the plugin and verified that Salesforce was talking to JIRA. I did absolutely nothing in Salesforce itself. I would think that a Salesforce developer would know Salesforce in depth. This is a waste of my time and their time and really a waste of the client's time.

I realize that the recruiter may be thinking "Hey, I'm not sure that this particular guy is totally qualified but I do see Salesforce on his resume. I'll reach out to him and ask questions". Then I would think he email, rather than being just a form email, would be something like this:

Hi, my name is <name>. I saw your resume says you've had some Salesforce exposure but it's not clear to me how much experience you actually have. I have a Salesforce developer position described below. Can you tell me if you have enough experience and if you are comfortable with the job requirements?...

But they don't do that.

I have toyed with the idea of faking experience so as to compel the recruiter to get me an interview and then go in there and simply say "I don't know any of that stuff and I don't know what Mr. Recruiter said I did" just to discredit the recruiter to show their clients that this particular recruiter is not properly screening (or screening at all for that matter). Something needs to be done, IMHO!

Case in point: Working with one Arvind Kumar of Araucaria Technologies, he approached me for an AWS Cloud Engineer position that has the following:


  • 5+ years of progressive experience with large, complex information systems
  • 3+ years of experience provisioning, operating, and managing AWS 3+ environments
  • Vast experience with transitioning physical plant to AWS environments
  • Must have strong LAMP & Tomcat Java experience.
  • Experience in automation and testing via scripting/programming.
  • Strong experience with Ansible. Experience with SVN and Github (preferred)
  • B.S. in Computer Science or equivalent (preferred)

Yet nowhere on my resume would you find 3_ years of AWS experience, nor transitioning physical plant to AWS environment. Have no experience with Ansible, nor SVN or Github. This is not to say I couldn't excel at these technologies as I pick up things quickly. And I do have experience with things like Clearcase, Perforce and git (just not Github or SVN). And I have taken some AWS courses but I would not claim to have 3+ years of experience or even 1 year of experience because my experience is at home, not at a client's site in a production situation.

As a result, why would anybody trust Arvind's word at all? Why would anybody work with Arvind or other recruiters at Araucaria Technologies knowing that their quality control is very sub par?

Recently I found this Tech Recruiter job on DICE. Some of the essential duties include:

  • Identify the client's business and cultural nuances, as well as define the position, its functions, challenges selling points, and viability. Uncover the necessary knowledge, skills and abilities of the ideal candidate.
  • Coordinate with Program Managers and Account Managers to ensure quality delivery to client's requisitions. Work with sales team on account development and account management.
  • Actively market qualified candidates to new and existing clients. Utilize sales techniques to expand business through research and prospecting and turning client inquiries into job requisitions.
  • Assist with the design of a sourcing strategy to uncover both passive and active candidates through existing and new sources in order to maintain an effective pool of candidates. Utilize electronic process in recruiting and placement to maximize efficiency and time saving.
  • Target the most qualified candidates and screen resumes to identify potential matches.
  • Present opportunity to candidate and conduct in-depth interview to determine suitability and interest of candidate. Identify, evaluate, and summarize relevant technical experience, knowledge, hard and soft skills, and abilities in relation to job requirements.
  • Submit qualified candidates and respond to client concerns.

So as you can see recruiters should be qualifying people before emailing candidate who incompetent recruiters such as Arvind obviously have not qualified.

Dealing with Recruiters - General

Sorry, I guess I need to vent. One of my biggest complaints as of late is so
called "professionalism". You know, you call up some support group and you're
trying to get things straightened out, frustrated from being on hold for 20-30
minutes navigating the voice mail call menus (there are apps to assist for that
so this is not just me!), trying to fix a problem that was basically caused
because company A fucked up and you're now fixing their problem. You utter
something like "Fuck you mean I need to wait for 4-6 weeks for this to be fixed!!!"
and they retort with something like "Sir, please! Be professional". You know what
asshole! Being professional is about actions not words. Your actions were
unprofessional thus causing me strife and frustrating resulting in me blowing
off steam and uttering the word "FUCK", which you've heard a million times before
and you know what is going on here. Look if you were fucking squeaky clean then,
and only then, you might have a point but you don't.

Recruiters are the worse - especially Indian recruiters fresh off the boat! Typical
things that I encounter are things like a recruiter will call me up, apparently
not be able to hear me well (or so they claim) then they hang up. Literally hang
up on me. Do they call me back? No. Do they call and leave a message? No. Can I
call them up? Sometimes. Other times I get a message saying "This Magic Jack
subscriber is not here" or it's a general number and I need to know their
extension. Well I don't know their extension BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T FUCKING BOTHER
TO LEAVE A DAMN MESSAGE! Or I get to their voice mail and their mailbox is full.

Think about this - a business who depends on being able to communicate with
the candidates and they do not have a way to take a fucking message, they do
not have the professional business courtesy to leave a fucking message nor
insure that they can be contacted. They've left a dead end trail. No, I'm not
the fucking unprofessional one - you are.

Then you have things like this Zip Recruiter link,
which sends you to here, which sends you here,
which now requires you to fill out forms. Other places require a login and
even a series of 4-10 pages to "fill out your profile" with an account that
hell I don't even want!

New Banking Partner - General

Sorry I've been taking my time responding. Truth be told the reason is, although you might not believe me, I don't actually like complaining! I'd much rather have nothing to complain about. But my personality type is also that I will not sit idly by when I have problems I shouldn't have to and/or can see improvements that can be made.

I have been making a list and I've decided to keep it on my server so I can amend and update it as time goes by.

However, the following is something I'd like to have taken care of quickly (it was #4 on my list but that may shift around a bit when I finally publish):

  1. I've had a problem logging into this centresuite.com - a totally separate website to manage my one business credit card. My account had been locked. I called up and complained. I was told that somebody - perhaps you - was supposed to get back to me to resolve the issue. It's been almost 3 weeks now, no followup, no phone calls, no email, nothing!

Basically I've had not been able to log in to that site to pay my business visa. Please fix, contact me or whatever as my next invoice is about to be paid and my plan was to pay that off then.

See "Continued reading" for the real skinny!

Note: You do not want to become like my last bank Wells Fargo

Southbound Silicon Beach - General

Looks like I'm moving to LA! Or more precisely Marina del Rey. I have a
new contract with ICANN (International Corporation for Assigned Names
and Numbers - the people who hand out internet IPs and DNS). That's
exciting! Silicon Beach as they say. And I'll be closer to San Diego,
my guitar playing and non-guitar playing friends out there. Perhaps
Randal and I can ride share to Mexico on occasion. Shout out to my
friends in Mexico! Hey Ed! You zombie chaser you! And Charles...

Marina del Rey seems to be a wonderful place - right by Venice Beach,
Santa Monica as well as other beach communities. And my new place looks
fantastic with ocean views...

Right by the marina:

My mother always said she envisioned me living by the beach. Well Mom,
this is as close as I've come so far! Miss you Mom! It's the Wild,
Wild West... Doing my best

Everybody take care and have a great summer!

Under Linux, you can use winbind from the Samba suite of tools to authenticate with Windows Active Directory. Refer to Setup CentOS to authenticate via Active Directory for how to set up CentOS to authenticate to Active directory. Windows uses Kerberos to perform authentication so you'll need to set that up. The above link talks about running authconf with lots of parameters to set it all up. That may be a better way in the end but I got it working starting with authconf then tweaking. Here are my resultant files that seem to work. Later I might figure out how to do it with authconfig.

  1. First you'll need some software if it was not previously installed. The following installs all you need for CentOS (Ubuntu still needs to be investigated for the corresponding apt-get installation):

    Install software

    $ yum -y install authconfig krb5-workstation pam_krb5 samba-common

  2. Edit /etc/krb5.conf to look like:

    /etc/krb5.conf (Audience)

default_realm = AUDIENCE.LOCAL
ns_lookup_realm = true
ns_lookup_kdc = true
ticket_lifetime = 24h
renew_lifetime = 7d
forwardable = true

audience.com = {
  kdc = dc1.audience.local
  admin_server = dc1.audience.local

/etc/krb5.conf (Knowles)

default_realm = KNOWLES.COM
dns_lookup_realm = true
dns_lookup_kdc = true
ticket_lifetime = 24h
renew_lifetime = 7d
forwardable = true

knowles.com = {
  kdc = dc1.knowles.com
  admin_server = dc1.knowles.com

If a recruiter is telling you he's only making like $10-$15/hr above the rate he's offering you then he's probably lying. The industry standard is anywhere from 20-75% markup. This means that for a rate of $90/hr the staffing firm is billing the client anywhere from $108/hr to $150/hr.</>

From http://peopleticker.com/bill-rate

Typical markups range from as low as 20% to 50% or more

From http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234665

In general, niche markets (e.g., IT) produce higher markups than do traditional staffing markets (e.g., clerical). Veigele notes that occasionally her firm's markup can approach 75 percent for a computer company client.

From http://www.eremedia.com/fordyce/heres-how-to-set-your-contract-staffing-rates/

Once you have an hourly pay rate for the contractor, you can use an average multiplier to calculate the hourly bill rate for the company. The location of the contract assignment can affect what multiplier you use. If you are placing someone in New York the multiplier would be higher than Michigan. Multipliers usually range between 1.5 and 1.8, but they can go much higher for healthcare professionals and hard-to-fill positions.

Our tracking shows that the current average multiplier for technical and professional contract staffing throughout the United States is 1.60. For the past 10 years it has ranged from an average of 1.51 to 1.67. (Excluding healthcare contract placements.)

Note: The multiplier is defined as the quotient of the company bill rate divided by the employee pay rate. A simple example of a 1.5 multiplier would be a scenario where the bill rate is $60 per hour and the pay rate is $40 per hour. The common term for multiplier is also "mark-up."

One to watch out for - General

Lalaine 7:17 AM
Sent from EXPLORE the BAY
Kindly delete my pic pls

Andrew DeFaria 7:19 AM

OK. Sorry. Didn't mean to "steal your soul"...

Lalaine 7:31 AM

The picture is not a good thing to display buz it looks like I was annoyed with you or with the event, but I was not. I was just caught off guard.

If the pic did not show that kind of expression, then I would not mind nor would I request that you delete it. I wish you had asked my permission first when posting this 'kind' of picture. The concern is, not only it got posted and it's in everyone's emails, which such picture can be misjudged.

Please also ensure to delete every copy of this in your mobile gallery or any postings you've made on other sites (if any...). I trust that you'd respect my wishes. Thank you and have a good day.

Andrew DeFaria 8:14 AM

But you were annoyed at me for taking that picture. That's why you looked that way.

Lalaine 8:31 AM

I was not annoyed. Pls reread my email, I was caught off guard. I did still talk with you even after - remember? Did you see any annoyance in that. You've joined us quite a few times after and I was still talking with you cordially. My attitude did not change. Besides, I did not know that you actually took it cuz I started walking away and did not expect that you would post it either - if you did take it. I assumed wrong. I'm not comfortable when men are taking a 'solo' pic of me and esp a stolen pic. Yeah, it made me so uncomfortable that's why I showed that expression... Hope it does not happen again.

Andrew DeFaria 8:47 AM

What I said was exactly and literally true. You were annoyed at me - for taking that picture. Not you were annoyed at me personally and would never speak to me again. You just didn't like that I took that picture. That's all I was saying. And it was why I still talked to you and hung out with you. I found you "exotic" and lovely which is why I took the picture. I thought you were a bit pouty in the picture but I thought it looked cute nonetheless so I posted it. Sorry it bothered you. I removed it and I can assure you I will take no more pictures of you.

Lalaine 9:51 AM

I was just really uncomfortable. I find it rather odd. See, I had bad experiences from a few men before who stalked me. A while back I had to file unwanted harassment even at work and it all started by men taking a stolen solo pic of me. I'm not saying ur gonna be like that, but I'm traumatized... We can all take pics in a group. Thanks for the compliments. God bless.

Andrew DeFaria 9:55 AM

Thanks for thinking of me as a stalker first before thinking of me as just a nice man. Made me day!

The bitch then proceeded to attempt to get me thrown out of the group. My opinion: Seems like she's has issues and should not be approached. Smells like a Fatal Attraction to me. Beware!

Sometimes when I find a woman's profile is well written and interesting I take the time out to write a longer response because I feel a connection on a few levels. And this is the kind of response that you typically get. Men, don't bother writing long responses as often women will treat you like this one.

neptonia had the following long profile (reproduced here so that you get the full picture):

My self-summary

Please read this entirely before contacting me. Thanks!

I asked friends for three words and the first response was, "alluring, amusing, and amazing." A close second was, "sassy smart vixen."

I'm not your typical geek. I prefer waking early in the mornings. I prefer real life, and I shower regularly unless I'm in a country without potable water. I believe that technology should be unobtrusive, but beautiful. I also believe technology should be left at home occasionally. And I have a healthy streak of sarcasm.

I love live bands, a science museum, or reading a good book. I'll try just about anything once except for jumping out of a perfectly good plane. And I'll take a campfire, or a morning kayak any day of the week.

Over the years, I've formed some very strong opinions about touchy subjects. I don't believe that politics, religion, and sex should be avoided on a first date, so I'll mention them here and get them out in the open.

- I am monogamous and you should be too. I love my polyamorous friends, but I have a hard enough time finding one guy to date, let alone many.

- If you are under 28, turn back now. I am not a cougar. I am not a notch in your bedpost, and no, you can not come over so you can do your laundry. If I wanted a child, I'd adopt.

- I am a strong-willed, confident, independent woman. I do not need nor want constant hand holding--literally or figuratively. I'm not a big fan of public displays of affection and I don't need to be in constant contact with you physically or electronically. I'll respect that you have a job and are busy and expect you will do the same for me.

- I'm not interested in organized religion. I consider myself a recovering Catholic. It's like being a recovering alcoholic--I'm never not one, I just don't practice. It is hard to get past the brainwashing. I broke up with the Catholic Church because I shouldn't be treated differently because I'm a woman. Neither should gay people for that matter. And sex isn't a sin.

- I don't believe in God or Jesus any more than I believe in Zeus and Hercules. They are stories that ancient people told.

- I get my news from NPR, The NYTimes, The Atlantic, and other online sources. I don't watch network news because of its sensationalism. I definitely never watch Fox News, if you can call it that.

- I am centrist, but am forced to vote on the left because I think the right has gone off the deep end. I'd like to see balanced budgets with cuts made all around--leaving the departments to decide how to implement them--and tax loopholes removed. I'd love it if the government were more efficient, but I think they would have to hire smarter people first.

- Science is something you understand, not something you believe in. I understand the effects humankind has had on global warming and am trying to do my part to stop it.

- I'm a vegetarian. I'm not against people eating meat, but you should understand where meat comes from, the effect it has on the environment and have made your peace with it. I will occasionally eat meat when it is something special.

- Ignorance is never an excuse. I actually don't believe in excuses. I try to own up to things I get wrong. If I'm late, it's because I didn't plan enough time to get where I was going.

- I believe in becoming friends before lovers. In other words, I'm not interested in making out with you or going home with you on a first, second, or third date. I am a long-term, Wall Street investment, not a Vegas slot machine.

- I don't believe in having sex as often as you brush your teeth. I enjoy sex and I don't want to go weeks without it if I'm in a relationship, but if you are unable to go weeks without it, I'll never trust you when we are apart.

- Speaking of brushing your teeth, I go to the dentist every six months and appreciate good teeth. It is hard to kiss someone with bad teeth.

- I never want to be in a situation where I consider getting an abortion, but if I do, I want safe, legal choices.

- I have shot guns before. I don't own any and have no interest in being with someone who does. I'm a firm believer that the pen is mightier than the sword. And the people I know who own guns are usually the most mentally unstable people I know.

- I am a feminist, but I won't balk at a little chivalry like holding the door open for me.

- I don't like country or rap music. I will tolerate it in small doses, but don't expect me to grow to like it.

- I have worked hard to get where I am and I expect you to have as well. Ambition is a turn on.

- Decades ago, I took the batteries out of my biological clock and hid it in the closet. If you decide to find it and put fresh batteries in it, you'd better mean it. I'm pretty convinced at this point that I don't want to be chasing toddlers around in my 40's.

If you got this far and laughed because you feel the same way, then keep reading. ;-)
What I'm doing with my life
Working at a job I love. Traveling far and wide. Golfing as the sun rises. Running, although I don't have to do another half marathon to prove anything. Biking to save the environment. Photographing my adventures. Blogging about it all.
I'm really good at
(according to the friends I surveyed)

- Photography (I'm just an amateur)
- Having fun
- Traveling/Vacations (They assure me, if anyone is good at this, it is me)
- "Walking my dog" (I use air quotes because I wish it was a euphemism)
- Innocent-sounding provocations
The first things people usually notice about me
My sparkling personality--that is if they are actually listening to me and not looking at my cleavage.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I hate picking favorites.
The six things I could never do without
1. My family & friends
2. My pets (although they are getting older)
3. My iPhone (unless I'm on vacation)
4. My Nikon D3200
5. My imagination
6. My sense of humor
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where to travel to next. What's on your short list?
On a typical Friday night I am
Having dinner with friends, participating in a birthday scavenger hunt in the city, taking an overnight flight somewhere fun, or on the couch with my pets catching up on the TiVo.

The better question is, "What am I doing on Saturday morning?" I could be at the farmer's market, on a run, or on a bike ride. I might take my dog to the beach, play golf, or take a book and a blanket and lay out in the back yard. Or maybe I'll be in another state or country doing touristy things. Sometimes I sleep in because I did too much on Friday night!

What do you do on Saturday mornings?
The most private thing I'm willing to admit
Is written in my blog. Feel free to search the web for it.
You should message me if
You think you can make me laugh. And if you can use spell check, proper grammar, and type complete words.

Tell me about what kind of car you drive and why. Everyone has a story, what is yours?

So I responded in a detailed fashion:

[not proofread, but relatively accurate...]

OK, I read your profile. I will respond, it'll be easy because there are so many interesting things to respond to in your profile. However women have a tendency of not responding at all - perhaps you've noticed... ah, probably not - so spending too much time could easily be a total waste of my time. If nothing else, could you shoot me a response back saying you got my message? I ask because I believe that dating sites like OKCupid often throttle men.

I will not address everything in your profile - I'll leave parts to hopefully be discussed over a glass of wine.

Alrighty, to the profile: Geek eh? Love your job. What is your job? I run a small computer consulting firm so I'm a qualified geek.

Monogamous? Check. Over 28. Check. "If I wanted a child, I'd adopt"? Love it! That's a good line.

I think a public display of affection should be just enough that people realize you're together.

Me, 100% atheist. I'm a member of several atheist groups in fact but I don't always attend any of them as they are often preaching to the choir! Heh, a joke! I don't need to get past the brain washing as I never really believed in the first place. I think the recent SCOTUS decision was great and now can the gays and lesbians frigging stop bitching about things. Yes you now get to enjoy all the lovely benefits of gay divorce! Yes I'm against gay marriage. Then again I'm against straight marriage too. Or, rather, I think that marriage should not be something that the government does nor endorses nor promotes. In short it's just none of their business. Marriage is essentially forming a corp or other contracted agreements. Let the courts handle dissolution of marriages but there shouldn't be any extra benefits for married people.

I get my news from http://news.google.com. Where's your geek cred?

I'm constantly amazed that people think of politics only in two dimensions. Dems or Repubs? Really? The world is not 2 dimensional - why is your politics? There are other parties ya know. I'm libertarian but I can hold a conversation with an anarchist and admit they have very good points. To me freedom is paramount because if you don't have that, nothing else really matters. Government will never be efficient - that's why the Founders stressed so hard in a *limited* government. "Government governs best that which governs least" as has been said.

I know where meat comes from and I know it has ecological effects. So does eating plants.

I agree ignorance is not an excuse. I also say sure you are entitled to your opinion - but it must be an informed and thoughtfully considered opinion.

As for making out, attraction and sex, sorry but I have a 3 date rule. Why? Well in my mind if you don't have a serious interest in exploring the other person and a close, intimate level by the 3rd date then you don't have any chemistry and the chances are high that you never will. At that point your just wasting your time and missing out on a great possibility with somebody else. I believe in cutting your loses. And no, you should never trust that a man will go weeks on end without sex. It's like asking somebody not to eat.

If you believe in chivalry at all then you're no feminist. Speaking of which, how exactly do you define chivalry and more importantly, what is the role of the female in this? Because to me it's totally lopsided and I refuse to participate in unfair institution. Make fair and I'll play along.

To me rap is music for the tone deaf!

OK, I think you can agree that read your profile. Now can you return the favor and respond to me. I'll be waiting, but not for too long. Limited time offer.

Please present your coupons before ordering.


Since sometimes I sense time period where OKCupid seems to throttle men and I get no messages nor even a visit or like for a month or so I decided since this chick's into technology and speaks about her blog that I'd check it out. Found her on Twitter (neptonia) I'd tweet here to tell her that I sent her a message on OKCupid. I was traveling at the time and when I touched down at SFO I decided to check to see if she responded to me on Twitter only to find out she simply blocked me! So I responded to her with:

I tweeted you earlier to let you know I messaged you here. Just checked twitter and you blocked me. That's cold man. I didn't deserve that! That was really mean and uncalled for. Ask yourself if you're really that mean to people. If you weren't interested the pillow thing to do would be to simply say you weren't interested. You should really all yourself if this is really the kind of person you want to be...​

This is usually where everybody asks in anticipation "Well what did she say?". She said nothing. My money's on she will say nothing and she will block me on OKCupid and curse guys as having anger issues or needing validation. Really? No honey, what I need is for you to act normal!

Never ceases to amaze me how women don't understand that ignoring people is rude. I've had them say such things as "Well if I don't respond then you should get the message". Oh I get the message alright. You're just another rude bitch who disrespects others by ignoring them. Let's face facts: Nobody likes being ignored. Nobody like hanging on waiting for a response nor getting their hopes up. You're responsibility girls is to fucking communicate!!! You say you're better communicators. Great. Then fucking announce it! I've been know to say that if women want men to know that "no" means "no" then it's incumbent on them to fucking at least say it!

Look, I'm not saying you have to field requests from every asshole out there. But if a guy comes along and politely expresses interest to ignore him is the same as being a conceited bitch. The polite response is to say "Sorry but I'm not interested". It takes less than 30 seconds to do so. You can't even spend 30 seconds to let somebody who just stuck his neck out and is waiting for a response? If not then the message you are sending is not one you think you are sending. The message that is being received is you're one fucking stuck up bitch!

Here's a nice example of this and my response: On POF.com, I sent my standard polite request to Minenotyours (Perhaps the username should have tipped me off):

Hi....yea..I don't typically responded if I'm not interested. ..kinda the good thing about "online"....saves the while rejection/guilt ...but since you requested, thank you very much but I'm not interested :( sorry and good luck out there!

And here's my response:

I see so normally you're just rude. Got it.

You see nobody likes to be ignored and while it may feel guilty to you to say that you're not interested in somebody, it is indeed your polite responsibility to do so. That's how the man/woman relationship works, sweetheart. I'd much rather be told there's no interest than to be ignored! Most guys I talk to agree. I can only hope that you are ignored for the rest of your life so that you can learn this important lesson. To hide behind the internet and ignore people disrespects the other person. It's amazing to me why women don't know this. Apparently your mom never done taught you no manners! Look, I stick my neck out every day, many times a day, and you hide behind the internet ignoring polite requests. What does that make me? (Considering I do so politely - a gentleman) And what does that make you? Think about it.

It doesn't make me mad that you rejected me rather it makes me mad that you think it's OK to rudely ignore people!

I would say "good luck" but instead I'm thinking it'd be great if you got ignored by 1/2 of the people that routinely and rudely ignore men! Most women are misandrists and they wonder why men, in utter frustration, resort to misogyny. This is one reason why girls...

Gawd forbid I ask how you came up with the determination that you weren't interested in me considering you didn't even bother to visit my profile! Yeah I know because otherwise POF would have showed me that you visited. Nah you just looked at the pictures and made the same judgement call that you probably **** that men make and rejected me based on looks alone. Wonderful. Bam, I just proved that you are as bad as the men you complain about. How does that make you feel sweetie? Well honey, you just live with that. I know I'm much better than you deserve!

'Tis quite amazing how women complain about men just basing things off of looks when it's clear that I just busted this chick doing exactly the same thing!

The Script - Personal

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Online dating it weird, and like many things the best way to handle it sometimes is with a script. For a man, online dating is a game of numbers, much like it is in life. Woman rarely make the first move so men have to. You can respond to many postings from women and you will get the same response rate, on average, that every other marketing campaign gets - 1%. Yes guys that means if you respond to 100 women on online dating you may get 10 women who respond to your message. But worse yet, your chances for a correspondence that will lead to meeting face to face is also about 1%. So respond to 100 women, you might meet one.

So respond to 1000 women, 100 will respond, you'll date 10 and maybe 1 on a second date. Liking online dating yet? Respond to 10000 women, 1000 will respond, 100 dates (over time), about 10 on second dates and you may get into 1 or 2 relationships. Anybody ever hear a guy saying that it's all about the numbers?

So ladies that's one reason why men don't read your profiles thoroughly - quite simply because it's a total waste of time reading 10000 profiles, that all pretty much say the same things, when you're only gonna be meeting a handful of women. No instead you develop a system. Here's mine...

Let me stress that as soon as a woman breaks out of the cycle or the script I immediately return to a very focused and personal connection with the person. Liken this to going fishing. You sit on the bank and cast your rod. You watch the bobber bop and only then do you give personal attention to your pole. You get nothing, re-bait, cast your line. This time a little less thinking a bite will come soon. After a while you learn to ignore the false signals but give your undivided attention to those signals you should pay attention to. It's really no different here.

So my first message out to women is canned. I have a 3 step program. It's not designed to fool or trick women, or to treat them badly. It's designed to limit the amount of hopes that get high when I respond to a new woman. It's designed to lesson my hurt and to cut my losses early when I can recognize that this will not work out or there just isn't interest here. It's also designed to make it so I don't bother the lady anymore with my requests.

The first message is:

Really liked your profile and pics. I like to keep it short here and allow the woman to check me out and respond if she's interested. I also ask if you would be so kind as to also let me know if you are not. You'd be surprised how many fail to...

The design of this message is to politely express my interest in them, to have them check me out and to determine whether or not there is any interest on their side. I ask specifically to let me know if they are not interested because if they are not I don't want to waste my time or their time on this. However here are some of the responses that I get to my first message:

From RockerHeart on OKCupid:

You wrote me loser, not the other way around. How's that for a reply, you creep!​


From ocdesign66 on OKCupid:

Well, that certainly sets u to the top of rudeness


From akaSabrina

Insecure and needy people need validation. You messaged me. If I was interested in you, I would have messaged you. Words do not need to be written as actions speak louder than words. Nothing to do with being polite or rude just as I do not choose to engage in conversation with strangers on the train. Now that you have a reply, I hope you feel better.

However, "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine." Bruce Lee

A reply won't be necessary as you'll be blocked and I won't see it.
Good luck on your approach.


From italy123456

Guess youre alone cause your an ugly asshole who can't take a polite rejection ​


From Mixalusa

Sorry, but I must have missed that part of the message. Though I think you might be a tad rude jumping to conclusions that people don't have other things going on in life. But to comply with your request, I am not interested, especially after you felt the need to call me out. Anyway...good luck.​


To which I responded:

Really? So a man politely expresses interest in you and also politely asks you to indicate if you are interested in him and you think him a "tad rude" for doing so? That people have "other things going on in life" and therefore their non-response should not be taken as a "Well hell I have more other things going on in life that I don't need to respond to your sorry ass" and you somehow see that as polite? Really? You should be ashamed of yourself as you are stuck up and conceded!

The insecurity and virtuousness which women lash out speaks more to their loneliness and frustration than anything else. Go ahead girls, try to sue me.

From Eveline8

Nice attitude early in the morning, good luck with that :) you should change the"respond if she interested" to you better respond because my fragile ego can't handle anything less. Have a good week! :)


To which I responded:

Nah I got it. "you better respond if you don't want to be considered a condescending bitch". Yeah I like that, bitch!

I would ask you exactly why you consider me politely asking whether or not (yeah that or not part) you are interested in me as if I have no fucking ego. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I asked you a question, politely and this is how you respond?!? Shame on you! Shame on you bitch!


Really! More to come...

I usually wait for a couple of weeks and to all the women who don't respond (remember averaging about 99%) in the last couple of weeks I send them a message of "Well I guess you're just another rude woman who ignores a man's polite request." which is 100% true, then I unlike them and "hide" them. Again, I'm trying to make it so that I don't stumble upon them again. That's also so that I don't bother them again.

Sometimes people respond, albeit passive aggressively by visiting but still saying nothing. I then send them:

I hope you enjoyed your stay at my profile but it's closing time. Please make your way to the back gates which is just through the gift shop!

Come again, come often and be sure to tell all your friends about me...

And no lingering in the lingerie department! We haven installed special close circuit cameras to monitor that situation!


Which is intended to be a "poke" but also to be funny and slightly playful in a male/female perspective. I'm flirting here - this is supposed to be dating right? This is a dating site isn't it? Still some women get the creepies from this. I've been known to respond "No I don't send this message to the all the girls - I usually send it to women, who know the difference between creepy and flirtatious!".

Finally if in 3 attempts I get nothing I simply write them off on the "three strikes and you're out" rule. Really, if there's no interest after 3 messages and many weeks, the cause is lost and there's no sense of continuing right?