So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:

• Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
• You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
• You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
• Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
• You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
• You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
• You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
• A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
• Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
• Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really is George Clooney.
• Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
• It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: Storm Watch.
• You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
• It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
• Both you and your dog have therapists.
• The Terminator is your governor.
• If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.