Jokes: Kids are Quick

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

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Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.

Teacher: Why are you late, Frank?
Frank: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Frank: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!

Teacher: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
Goss: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
Millie: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet".

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.