+I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke free
+A diversified multicultural post modern deconstructionist,
+Politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
+I've been up linked and downloaded, inputted and outsourced
+I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading
+I'm a high tech low life, a cutting edge, state of the art, bi coastal
+Multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
+I'm new wave but I'm old school, my inner child is outward bound
+I'm a hot wired, heat seeking, warm hearted, cool customer
+I'm voice activated and bio degradable.
+I interface to my database, my database is in cyberspace
+So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive!
+
+Behind the 8 ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave,
+Dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope.
+I'm on point, on task, on message and off drugs.
+I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge
+I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top but under the radar.
+A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary
+A street wise smart bomb, a top gun bottom feeder.
+I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps
+I'm a totally ongoing, big foot, slam dunk rain maker with a proactive outreach.
+A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial
+
+I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper
+A personal assistant and a personal agenda
+You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down
+Because I'm tireless and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.
+I'm a non-believer and an over achiever, laid back but fashion forward
+Up front, down home, low rent and high maintenance
+Super sized, long lasting, high definition
+Fast acting, oven ready and built to last
+I'm a hands on, foot loose, knee jerk, head case
+Prematurely, post traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail!
+
+But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing
+A supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary care giver
+My output is down but my income is up
+I take a short position on a long bond
+My revenue stream has it's own cash flow
+I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports
+I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly and lactose intolerant.
+
+I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F word in my email
+And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn
+I bought a microwave at a mini mall, I bought a minivan in a mega store
+I eat fast food in the slow lane.
+I'm toll free, bite sized, ready to wear and I come in all sizes.
+A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven
+Scientifically formulated, medical miracle.
+I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved,
+Pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed
+And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
+
+I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal,
+Lean and mean, cocked, locked and ready to rock
+Rough, tough and hard to bluff.
+I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide
+I got glide in my stride.
+Driving and moving, sailing and spinning
+Jiving and grooving, wailing and women
+I don't snooze so I don't loose
+I keep the pedal to the medal and the rubber on the road
+I party hardy and lunchtime is crunch time.
+I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt
+And I'm hanging tough, over and out.
+
+George Carlin - 1956 - 2008
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