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45 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/archives/2017/07/what-are-the-es.html" rel="bookmark">What are the essential duties for a technical recruiter?</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/">General</a></h2>
46 <div class="asset-meta">
49 <abbr class="published" title="2017-07-10T09:39:43-08:00">July 10, 2017 9:39 AM</abbr>
58 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
60 <div class="asset-body">
61 <p>I think it's odd that most recruiters do not seem to know what they essential
62 duties are. Just looking at it quickly one would think that a recruiter's job
63 is to find <strong>qualified</strong> candidates. In the field of computers
64 this often means looking at buzzwords and matching them up. But it's more than
65 buzzword matching (http://jobscan.co can do that for you). It's really knowing
66 the technologies behind the buzzwords to know that, for example, <a
67 href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenkins_(software)">Jenkins</a> is
68 essentially the same as <a
69 href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_Cloud">Electric Commander</a>
70 whereas <a href="https://www.mysql.com/">MySQL</a> is not really at all like
71 <a href="https://www.mongodb.com/">MongoDB</a> though they do share the characteristic of both being databases,
72 one uses SQL and the other is No SQL.</p>
74 <p>I get way too many "offers" by recruiters - typically Indian recruiters -
75 for positions that I would have thought I was not qualified for. For example,
76 the client will say that 3+ years experience with AWS is <strong>required</strong>
77 and I do not have any AWS experience yet (I've played around with it at home
78 and have taken some online courses but it's clear the client wants 3+ years
79 of actual experience not classroom experience). But the recruiter will
80 contact me nonetheless. Or a recruiter will approach me for a Salesforce
81 developer job. The word Salesforce appeared on my resume once. I helped the
82 Salesforce team integrate into JIRA via a plugin. I configured the plugin and
83 verified that Salesforce was talking to JIRA. I did absolutely nothing in
84 Salesforce itself. I would think that a Salesforce developer would know
85 Salesforce in depth. This is a waste of my time and their time and really
86 a waste of the client's time.</p>
88 <p>I realize that the recruiter may be thinking "Hey, I'm not sure that this
89 particular guy is totally qualified but I do see Salesforce on his resume.
90 I'll reach out to him and ask questions". Then I would think he email, rather
91 than being just a form email, would be something like this:</p>
94 Hi, my name is <name>. I saw your resume says you've had some Salesforce
95 exposure but it's not clear to me how much experience you actually have. I have
96 a Salesforce developer position described below. Can you tell me if you have
97 enough experience and if you are comfortable with the job requirements?...
100 <p>But they don't do that.</p>
102 <p>I have toyed with the idea of faking experience so as to compel the
103 recruiter to get me an interview and then go in there and simply say
104 "I don't know any of that stuff and I don't know what Mr. Recruiter said I
105 did" just to discredit the recruiter to show their clients that this
106 particular recruiter is not properly screening (or screening at all for that
107 matter). Something needs to be done, IMHO!</p>
109 <p>Case in point: Working with one <a
110 href="mailto:arvind.alagapalli@araucariatechnologies.com">Arvind Kumar</a>
111 of <a href="http://araucariatechnologies.com">Araucaria Technologies</a>,
112 he approached me for an AWS Cloud Engineer position that has the following:</p>
115 <h2>Qualifications:</h2>
118 <li>5+ years of progressive experience with large, complex information systems</li>
119 <li>3+ years of experience provisioning, operating, and managing AWS 3+ environments</li>
120 <li>Vast experience with transitioning physical plant to AWS environments</li>
121 <li>Must have strong LAMP & Tomcat Java experience.</li>
122 <li>Experience in automation and testing via scripting/programming.</li>
123 <li>Strong experience with Ansible. Experience with SVN and Github (preferred)</li>
124 <li>B.S. in Computer Science or equivalent (preferred)</li>
128 <p>Yet nowhere on my <a href="http://clearscm.com/resume">resume</a> would
129 you find 3_ years of AWS experience, nor transitioning physical plant to AWS environment. Have no experience with
130 Ansible, nor SVN or Github. This is not to say I couldn't excel at these
131 technologies as I pick up things quickly. And I do have experience with
132 things like Clearcase, Perforce and git (just not Github or SVN). And I have
133 taken some AWS courses but I would not claim to have 3+ years of experience
134 or even 1 year of experience because my experience is at home, not at a client's
135 site in a production situation.</p>
137 <p>As a result, why would anybody trust Arvind's word at all? Why would
138 anybody work with Arvind or other recruiters at Araucaria Technologies knowing
139 that their quality control is very sub par?</p>
141 <p>Recently I found this Tech Recruiter job on DICE. Some of the essential
145 <li>Identify the client's business and cultural nuances, as well as define
146 the position, its functions, challenges selling points, and viability.
147 <b><u>Uncover the necessary knowledge, skills and abilities of the ideal
148 candidate</u></b>.</li>
150 <li>Coordinate with Program Managers and Account Managers to <b><u>ensure quality delivery to client's requisitions</u></b>. Work with sales team
151 on account development and account management.</li>
153 <li>Actively market <b><u>qualified candidates</u></b> to new and existing
154 clients. Utilize sales techniques to expand business through research and
155 prospecting and turning client inquiries into job requisitions.</li>
157 <li>Assist with the design of a sourcing strategy to uncover both passive
158 and active candidates through existing and new sources in order to
159 maintain an <b><u>effective pool of candidates</u></b>. Utilize
160 electronic process in recruiting and placement to <b><u>maximize
161 efficiency and time saving</u></b>.</li>
163 <li><b><u>Target the most qualified candidates and screen resumes to
164 identify potential matches</u></b>.</li>
166 <li>Present opportunity to candidate and conduct in-depth interview to
167 <b><u>determine suitability and interest of candidate. Identify, evaluate,
168 and summarize relevant technical experience, knowledge, hard and soft
169 skills, and abilities in relation to job requirements</u></b>.</li>
171 <li><b><u>Submit qualified candidates</u></b> and respond to client
175 <p>So as you can see recruiters should be qualifying people
176 before emailing candidate who incompetent recruiters such as Arvind
177 obviously have not qualified.</p>
183 <div class="asset-footer"></div>
188 <div id="entry-2003" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
189 <div class="asset-header">
190 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/archives/2017/04/dealing-with-re-1.html" rel="bookmark">Dealing with Recruiters</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/">General</a></h2>
191 <div class="asset-meta">
192 <span class="byline">
194 <abbr class="published" title="2017-04-24T21:29:08-08:00">April 24, 2017 9:29 PM</abbr>
203 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
205 <div class="asset-body">
206 <p>Sorry, I guess I need to vent. One of my biggest complaints as of late is so<br />
207 called "professionalism". You know, you call up some support group and you're<br />
208 trying to get things straightened out, frustrated from being on hold for 20-30<br />
209 minutes navigating the voice mail call menus (there are apps to assist for that<br />
210 so this is not just me!), trying to fix a problem that was basically caused<br />
211 because company A fucked up and you're now fixing their problem. You utter <br />
212 something like "Fuck you mean I need to wait for 4-6 weeks for this to be fixed!!!"<br />
213 and they retort with something like "Sir, please! Be professional". You know what<br />
214 asshole! Being professional is about actions not words. Your actions were <br />
215 unprofessional thus causing me strife and frustrating resulting in me blowing<br />
216 off steam and uttering the word "FUCK", which you've heard a million times before<br />
217 and you know what is going on here. Look if you were fucking squeaky clean then,<br />
218 and only then, you might have a point but you don't.</p>
220 <p>Recruiters are the worse - especially Indian recruiters fresh off the boat! Typical<br />
221 things that I encounter are things like a recruiter will call me up, apparently <br />
222 not be able to hear me well (or so they claim) then they hang up. Literally hang<br />
223 up on me. Do they call me back? No. Do they call and leave a message? No. Can I<br />
224 call them up? Sometimes. Other times I get a message saying "This Magic Jack <br />
225 subscriber is not here" or it's a general number and I need to know their <br />
226 extension. Well I don't know their extension BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T FUCKING BOTHER<br />
227 TO LEAVE A DAMN MESSAGE! Or I get to their voice mail and their mailbox is full.</p>
229 <p>Think about this - a business who depends on being able to communicate with<br />
230 the candidates and they do not have a way to take a fucking message, they do<br />
231 not have the professional business courtesy to leave a fucking message nor <br />
232 insure that they can be contacted. They've left a dead end trail. No, I'm not<br />
233 the fucking unprofessional one - you are.</p>
235 <p>Then you have things like this <a href="https://www.ziprecruiter.com/ojob/50feb857b4c56bcc613b9be1e535ea5d?u=e7ATHjqi_6u95ZN3U9gF0g6mRifuYqBUz5OyYrWniZFfLFZpVOjIYxvIrn3V5bbxh3D_ZfKFxtfuhAgb5vEK717KnZEl5uhByVZ5pc99N6Lk58ZMMJq6OaB25SIcnKu3CSJGBKUV4nfZlRGT0qEqfFKebeQVN7IdPZEiQ3u1sbPgsgn0lAYnI0UCO2Pd3yoRLXeA0Px6kFJZAcupDvN4rvhNdNrbcqAzAKdXBxGevqKbQhv2JFOGy7fxHPB0vBUMcPhtHdkMFDM2SRWENeHtZ7zkKPh2wo2ZgOIyWQ0tW70nLywu_K3G8uj3j5_7--gYIZjKGOJfkrlnzrqrifwGnp4879-i6Hph8TI7pymWeCPZAKAGHSrhKA-gHf8gShNoguOxGZdowM_FlUZfgaXAcTUjNabDaFhUfZcvRHrZmENF8OXMve7VgPAhl1OO7lhZwum7zPdYOtJrQWMphj_J0RAz72s2Eqz-Gmftljk2GLVuuNsWMmlDxaFS12FGO4J9n9vVPLndiUTp38EJ1r2pzenI9gt6A0kQPKR35E9bCFojNYvVBj4PgDhUJxppz9dsQyAvsNjEqPRnAMCOMxnGkunuxl4zi72QIB-4ZatpMN1_pZSFkLmWBS081xoxoC55oho609CANvPjFJxDrrlDEESMrplEJg16xtwqp1_GlgoaQ4_0u1o7Lr88IrP6nuY1GsdDvCkM-arKf353dkjQQo5fz21mbFWNERkQoW_TNELSPIfejwjyUMtt7AZtBANItZibcipdOCi3Nl0DqcP3Ku2cGyhomXQW6RiXh6w9A_vnJc5aOhBOGxS_f25eDskUs8NkhUROBUdrYg97CaaoZJx1RG25rNZoRPa-W68_q2am-Gx5pGLPhs6WDqMg3S5UiVASgguJQAH1iTb15A5Z__utwvpH08CgSY-zrg1gBWIpUNoN4zisUSmxPjEKfUM6TixfEd2RqXZ3Qqr-o9u3G8GlSZO3liyi72JUzb8k-oLTyeJX574GoRaKU1UzJnlGY6A5ppLfB5udxqyh6kSwPYaaJIDH7CBvgKt4qQV0I2VzeYKuMf1ZHx_mk3rGvgFeNq1-WyeotMFq3S_rzd5Vyg" title="Zip Recruiter Link">Zip Recruiter link</a>, <br />
236 which sends you to <a href="http://www.tillster.com/careers/?p=job/owq84fwS&__jvst=Career%20Site&nl=1" title="here">here</a>, which sends you <a href="http://www.tillster.com/careers/?p=job%2Fowq84fwS%2Fapply&__jvst=Career%20Site&nl=1" title="here">here</a>, <br />
237 which now requires you to fill out forms. Other places require a login and<br />
238 even a series of 4-10 pages to "fill out your profile" with an account that<br />
239 hell I don't even want!</p>
245 <div class="asset-footer"></div>
250 <div id="entry-2002" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
251 <div class="asset-header">
252 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/archives/2016/11/new-banking-par.html" rel="bookmark">New Banking Partner</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/">General</a></h2>
253 <div class="asset-meta">
254 <span class="byline">
256 <abbr class="published" title="2016-11-21T20:32:16-08:00">November 21, 2016 8:32 PM</abbr>
265 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
267 <div class="asset-body">
268 <p>Sorry I've been taking my time responding. Truth be told the reason is,
269 although you might not believe me, I don't actually like complaining! I'd
270 much rather have nothing to complain about. But my personality type is
271 also that I will not sit idly by when I have problems I shouldn't have to
272 and/or can see improvements that can be made.</p>
274 <p>I have been making a list and I've decided to keep it on my server so
275 I can amend and update it as time goes by.</p><p>However, the following is
276 something I'd like to have taken care of quickly (it was #4 on my list but
277 that may shift around a bit when I finally publish):</p>
280 <li value="4">I've had a problem logging into this centresuite.com -
281 a totally separate website to manage my one business credit card. My
282 account had been locked. I called up and complained. I was told that
283 somebody - perhaps you - was supposed to get back to me to resolve the
284 issue. It's been <u><b>almost 3 weeks</b></u> now, no followup, no phone
285 calls, no email, nothing!</li>
288 <p>Basically I've had not been able to log in to that site to pay my
289 business visa. Please fix, contact me or whatever as my next invoice is
290 about to be paid and my plan was to pay that off then.</p>
292 <p>See "Continued reading" for the real skinny!</p>
294 <p><b>Note:</b> You do not want to become like my last bank
295 <a href="/WF">Wells Fargo</a></p>
300 <div class="asset-more-link">
301 Continue reading <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/archives/2016/11/new-banking-par.html#more" rel="bookmark">New Banking Partner</a>.
305 <div class="asset-footer"></div>
310 <div id="entry-2001" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
311 <div class="asset-header">
312 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/archives/2016/05/southbound-sili.html" rel="bookmark">Southbound Silicon Beach</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/">General</a></h2>
313 <div class="asset-meta">
314 <span class="byline">
316 <abbr class="published" title="2016-05-03T22:15:15-08:00">May 3, 2016 10:15 PM</abbr>
325 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
327 <div class="asset-body">
328 <p>Looks like I'm moving to LA! Or more precisely Marina del Rey. I have a<br />
329 new contract with ICANN (International Corporation for Assigned Names <br />
330 and Numbers - the people who hand out internet IPs and DNS). That's <br />
331 exciting! Silicon Beach as they say. And I'll be closer to San Diego, <br />
332 my guitar playing and non-guitar playing friends out there. Perhaps <br />
333 Randal and I can ride share to Mexico on occasion. Shout out to my <br />
334 friends in Mexico! Hey Ed! You zombie chaser you! And Charles...</p>
336 <p>Marina del Rey seems to be a wonderful place - right by Venice Beach, <br />
337 Santa Monica as well as other beach communities. And my new place looks<br />
338 fantastic with ocean views...</p>
341 Right by the marina:</p>
343 <p>My mother always said she envisioned me living by the beach. Well Mom,<br />
344 this is as close as I've come so far! Miss you Mom! It's the <i>Wild, <br />
345 Wild West... Doing my best</i>!</p>
347 <p>Everybody take care and have a great summer!</p>
353 <div class="asset-footer"></div>
358 <div id="entry-1998" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
359 <div class="asset-header">
360 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Status/2016/04/configuring-linux-to-authenticate-to-active-directory-using-winbind-1.html" rel="bookmark">Configuring Linux to Authenticate to Active Directory using Winbind</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Status/">Status</a></h2>
361 <div class="asset-meta">
362 <span class="byline">
364 <abbr class="published" title="2016-04-18T14:32:48-08:00">April 18, 2016 2:32 PM</abbr>
373 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
375 <div class="asset-body">
376 <p>Under Linux, you can use winbind from the Samba suite of tools to authenticate with Windows Active Directory. Refer to Setup CentOS to authenticate via Active Directory for how to set up CentOS to authenticate to Active directory. Windows uses Kerberos to perform authentication so you'll need to set that up. The above link talks about running authconf with lots of parameters to set it all up. That may be a better way in the end but I got it working starting with authconf then tweaking. Here are my resultant files that seem to work. Later I might figure out how to do it with authconfig.</p>
378 <li>First you'll need some software if it was not previously installed. The following installs all you need for CentOS (Ubuntu still needs to be investigated for the corresponding apt-get installation):<br /><br /><span style="line-height: 1.618;">Install software<br /><br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">$ yum -y install authconfig krb5-workstation pam_krb5 samba-common<br /><br /></span></li>
379 <li><span style="line-height: 1.618;">Edit /etc/krb5.conf to look like:<br /><br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">/etc/krb5.conf (Audience)</span></li>
381 <p style="margin-left: 30px;">[libdefaults]<br /><span style="line-height: 1.618;">default_realm = AUDIENCE.LOCAL<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">ns_lookup_realm = true<br />d</span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">ns_lookup_kdc = true<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">ticket_lifetime = 24h<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">renew_lifetime = 7d<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">forwardable = true</span></p>
382 <p style="margin-left: 30px;">[realms]<br /><span style="line-height: 1.618;">audience.com = {<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">Â kdc = dc1.audience.local<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">Â admin_server = dc1.audience.local<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">}</span></p>
383 <p style="margin-left: 30px;">/etc/krb5.conf (Knowles)</p>
384 <p style="margin-left: 30px;">[libdefaults]<br /><span style="line-height: 1.618;">default_realm = KNOWLES.COM<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">dns_lookup_realm = true<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">dns_lookup_kdc = true<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">ticket_lifetime = 24h<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">renew_lifetime = 7d<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">forwardable = true</span></p>
385 <p style="margin-left: 30px;">[realms]<br /><span style="line-height: 1.618;">knowles.com = {<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">Â kdc = dc1.knowles.com<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">Â admin_server = dc1.knowles.com<br /></span><span style="line-height: 1.618;">}</span></p>
391 <div class="asset-footer"></div>
396 <div id="entry-1997" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
397 <div class="asset-header">
398 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/archives/2016/03/contractor-pay-.html" rel="bookmark">Contractor Pay Rate vs Company Bill Rate</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/">General</a></h2>
399 <div class="asset-meta">
400 <span class="byline">
402 <abbr class="published" title="2016-03-17T12:23:45-08:00">March 17, 2016 12:23 PM</abbr>
411 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
413 <div class="asset-body">
414 <p>If a recruiter is telling you he's only making like $10-$15/hr above the rate he's offering you then he's probably lying. The industry standard is anywhere from 20-75% markup. This means that for a rate of $90/hr the staffing firm is billing the client anywhere from $108/hr to $150/hr.</></p>
415 <p>From <a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://peopleticker.com/bill-rate">http://peopleticker.com/bill-rate</a></p>
416 <blockquote><span>Typical markups range from as low as <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>20% to 50%</b></span> or more<br /> </span></blockquote>
417 <p>From <a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234665">http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/234665</a></p>
418 <blockquote><span>In general, niche markets (e.g., IT) produce higher markups than do traditional staffing markets (e.g., clerical). Veigele notes that occasionally her firm's markup can approach <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>75 percent for a computer company client</b></span>.</span></blockquote>
419 <p><span></span>From <a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://www.eremedia.com/fordyce/heres-how-to-set-your-contract-staffing-rates/">http://www.eremedia.com/fordyce/heres-how-to-set-your-contract-staffing-rates/</a></p>
421 <p>Once you have an hourly pay rate for the contractor, you can use an average multiplier to calculate the hourly bill rate for the company. The location of the contract assignment can affect what multiplier you use. If you are placing someone in New York the multiplier would be higher than Michigan. <b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Multipliers usually range between 1.5 and 1.8</span></b>, but they can go much higher for healthcare professionals and hard-to-fill positions.</p>
422 <p>Our tracking shows that the current average multiplier for technical and professional contract staffing throughout the United States is 1.60. For the past 10 years it has ranged from an average of 1.51 to 1.67. (Excluding healthcare contract placements.)</p>
423 <p><strong>Note</strong>: The multiplier is defined as the quotient of the company bill rate divided by the employee pay rate. A simple example of a 1.5 multiplier would be a scenario where the bill rate is $60 per hour and the pay rate is $40 per hour. The common term for multiplier is also "mark-up."</p>
430 <div class="asset-footer"></div>
435 <div id="entry-1995" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
436 <div class="asset-header">
437 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/archives/2015/10/one-to-watch-ou.html" rel="bookmark">One to watch out for</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/General/">General</a></h2>
438 <div class="asset-meta">
439 <span class="byline">
441 <abbr class="published" title="2015-10-05T07:22:18-08:00">October 5, 2015 7:22 AM</abbr>
450 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
452 <div class="asset-body">
453 <p><img src="/blogs/General/Picture.jpg"></p>
454 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/188262992/">Lalaine</a> 7:17 AM<br>
455 Sent from EXPLORE the BAY<br>
456 Kindly delete my pic pls</p>
458 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/10426135/">Andrew DeFaria</a> 7:19 AM</p>
459 <p>OK. Sorry. Didn't mean to "steal your soul"...</p>
461 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/188262992/">Lalaine</a> 7:31 AM</p></p>
463 <p>The picture is not a good thing to display buz it looks like I was annoyed with you or with the event, but I was not. I was just caught off guard.</p>
465 <p>If the pic did not show that kind of expression, then I would not mind nor would I request that you delete it. I wish you had asked my permission first when posting this 'kind' of picture. The concern is, not only it got posted and it's in everyone's emails, which such picture can be misjudged.</p>
467 <p>Please also ensure to delete every copy of this in your mobile gallery or any postings you've made on other sites (if any...). I trust that you'd respect my wishes. Thank you and have a good day.</p>
469 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/10426135/">Andrew DeFaria</a> 8:14 AM</p>
471 <p>But you were annoyed at me for taking that picture. That's why you looked that way.</p>
473 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/188262992/">Lalaine</a> 8:31 AM</p>
475 <p>I was not annoyed. Pls reread my email, I was caught off guard. I did still talk with you even after - remember? Did you see any annoyance in that. You've joined us quite a few times after and I was still talking with you cordially. My attitude did not change. Besides, I did not know that you actually took it cuz I started walking away and did not expect that you would post it either - if you did take it. I assumed wrong. I'm not comfortable when men are taking a 'solo' pic of me and esp a stolen pic. Yeah, it made me so uncomfortable that's why I showed that expression... Hope it does not happen again.</p>
477 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/10426135/">Andrew DeFaria</a> 8:47 AM</p>
479 <p>What I said was exactly and literally true. You were annoyed at me - <b>for taking that picture</b>. Not you were annoyed at me personally and would never speak to me again. You just didn't like that I took that picture. That's all I was saying. And it was why I still talked to you and hung out with you. I found you "exotic" and lovely which is why I took the picture. I thought you were a bit pouty in the picture but I thought it looked cute nonetheless so I posted it. Sorry it bothered you. I removed it and I can assure you I will take no more pictures of you.</p>
481 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/188262992/">Lalaine</a> 9:51 AM</p>
483 <p>I was just really uncomfortable. I find it rather odd. See, I had bad experiences from a few men before who stalked me. A while back I had to file unwanted harassment even at work and it all started by men taking a stolen solo pic of me. I'm not saying ur gonna be like that, but I'm traumatized... We can all take pics in a group. Thanks for the compliments. God bless.</p>
485 <p><a href="http://www.meetup.com/members/10426135/">Andrew DeFaria</a> 9:55 AM</p>
487 <p>Thanks for thinking of me as a stalker first before thinking of me as just a nice man. Made me day!</p>
491 <p>The bitch then proceeded to attempt to get me thrown out of the group. My opinion: Seems like she's has issues and should not be approached. Smells like a Fatal Attraction to me. Beware!</p>
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509 dc:title="Girls, this is why men respond with short msgs like "hey" or "what's up""
510 dc:identifier="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/07/girls-this-is-w.html"
512 dc:description="Sometimes when I find a woman's profile is well written and interesting I take the time out to write a longer response because I feel a connection on a few levels. And this is the kind of response that you..."
514 dc:date="2015-07-01T12:38:31-06:00" />
518 <div id="entry-1994" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
519 <div class="asset-header">
520 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/07/girls-this-is-w.html" rel="bookmark">Girls, this is why men respond with short msgs like "hey" or "what's up"</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">Personal</a></h2>
521 <div class="asset-meta">
522 <span class="byline">
524 <abbr class="published" title="2015-07-01T12:38:31-06:00">July 1, 2015 12:38 PM</abbr>
529 <span class="separator">|</span> <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/07/girls-this-is-w.html#trackbacks">1 TrackBack</a>
533 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
535 <div class="asset-body">
536 <p>Sometimes when I find a woman's profile is well written and interesting I take the time out to write a longer response because I feel a connection on a few levels. And this is the kind of response that you typically get. Men, don't bother writing long responses as often women will treat you like this one.</p>
538 <p><a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/neptonia">neptonia</a> had the following long profile (reproduced here so that you get the full picture):</p>
540 <p><img src="/blogs/Personal/neptonia.jpg" width=80%></p>
544 <font color="red" size=+2>My self-summary</font>
546 <p>Please read this entirely before contacting me. Thanks!
548 <p>I asked friends for three words and the first response was, "alluring, amusing, and amazing." A close second was, "sassy smart vixen."</p>
550 <p>I'm not your typical geek. I prefer waking early in the mornings. I prefer real life, and I shower regularly unless I'm in a country without potable water. I believe that technology should be unobtrusive, but beautiful. I also believe technology should be left at home occasionally. And I have a healthy streak of sarcasm.</p>
552 <p>I love live bands, a science museum, or reading a good book. I'll try just about anything once except for jumping out of a perfectly good plane. And I'll take a campfire, or a morning kayak any day of the week.</p>
554 <p>Over the years, I've formed some very strong opinions about touchy subjects. I don't believe that politics, religion, and sex should be avoided on a first date, so I'll mention them here and get them out in the open.</p>
556 <p>- I am monogamous and you should be too. I love my polyamorous friends, but I have a hard enough time finding one guy to date, let alone many.</p>
558 <p>- If you are under 28, turn back now. I am not a cougar. I am not a notch in your bedpost, and no, you can not come over so you can do your laundry. If I wanted a child, I'd adopt.</p>
560 <p>- I am a strong-willed, confident, independent woman. I do not need nor want constant hand holding--literally or figuratively. I'm not a big fan of public displays of affection and I don't need to be in constant contact with you physically or electronically. I'll respect that you have a job and are busy and expect you will do the same for me.</p>
562 <p>- I'm not interested in organized religion. I consider myself a recovering Catholic. It's like being a recovering alcoholic--I'm never not one, I just don't practice. It is hard to get past the brainwashing. I broke up with the Catholic Church because I shouldn't be treated differently because I'm a woman. Neither should gay people for that matter. And sex isn't a sin.</p>
564 <p>- I don't believe in God or Jesus any more than I believe in Zeus and Hercules. They are stories that ancient people told.</p>
566 <p>- I get my news from NPR, The NYTimes, The Atlantic, and other online sources. I don't watch network news because of its sensationalism. I definitely never watch Fox News, if you can call it that.</p>
568 <p>- I am centrist, but am forced to vote on the left because I think the right has gone off the deep end. I'd like to see balanced budgets with cuts made all around--leaving the departments to decide how to implement them--and tax loopholes removed. I'd love it if the government were more efficient, but I think they would have to hire smarter people first.</p>
570 <p>- Science is something you understand, not something you believe in. I understand the effects humankind has had on global warming and am trying to do my part to stop it.</p>
572 <p>- I'm a vegetarian. I'm not against people eating meat, but you should understand where meat comes from, the effect it has on the environment and have made your peace with it. I will occasionally eat meat when it is something special.</p>
574 <p>- Ignorance is never an excuse. I actually don't believe in excuses. I try to own up to things I get wrong. If I'm late, it's because I didn't plan enough time to get where I was going.</p>
576 <p>- I believe in becoming friends before lovers. In other words, I'm not interested in making out with you or going home with you on a first, second, or third date. I am a long-term, Wall Street investment, not a Vegas slot machine.</p>
578 <p>- I don't believe in having sex as often as you brush your teeth. I enjoy sex and I don't want to go weeks without it if I'm in a relationship, but if you are unable to go weeks without it, I'll never trust you when we are apart.</p>
580 <p>- Speaking of brushing your teeth, I go to the dentist every six months and appreciate good teeth. It is hard to kiss someone with bad teeth.</p>
582 <p>- I never want to be in a situation where I consider getting an abortion, but if I do, I want safe, legal choices.</p>
584 <p>- I have shot guns before. I don't own any and have no interest in being with someone who does. I'm a firm believer that the pen is mightier than the sword. And the people I know who own guns are usually the most mentally unstable people I know.</p>
586 <p>- I am a feminist, but I won't balk at a little chivalry like holding the door open for me.</p>
588 <p>- I don't like country or rap music. I will tolerate it in small doses, but don't expect me to grow to like it.</p>
590 <p>- I have worked hard to get where I am and I expect you to have as well. Ambition is a turn on.</p>
592 <p>- Decades ago, I took the batteries out of my biological clock and hid it in the closet. If you decide to find it and put fresh batteries in it, you'd better mean it. I'm pretty convinced at this point that I don't want to be chasing toddlers around in my 40's.</p>
594 <p>If you got this far and laughed because you feel the same way, then keep reading. ;-)<br />
595 <font color="red" size=+2>What I'm doing with my life</font><br />
596 Working at a job I love. Traveling far and wide. Golfing as the sun rises. Running, although I don't have to do another half marathon to prove anything. Biking to save the environment. Photographing my adventures. Blogging about it all.<br />
597 <font color="red" size=+2>I'm really good at</font><br />
598 (according to the friends I surveyed)</p>
600 <p>- Photography (I'm just an amateur)<br />
602 - Traveling/Vacations (They assure me, if anyone is good at this, it is me)<br />
603 - "Walking my dog" (I use air quotes because I wish it was a euphemism)<br />
604 - Innocent-sounding provocations<br />
605 <font color="red" size=+2>The first things people usually notice about me</font><br />
606 My sparkling personality--that is if they are actually listening to me and not looking at my cleavage.<br />
607 <font color="red" size=+2>Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food</font><br />
608 I hate picking favorites.<br />
609 <font color="red" size=+2>The six things I could never do without</font><br />
610 1. My family & friends<br />
611 2. My pets (although they are getting older)<br />
612 3. My iPhone (unless I'm on vacation)<br />
613 4. My Nikon D3200<br />
614 5. My imagination<br />
615 6. My sense of humor<br />
616 <font color="red" size=+2>I spend a lot of time thinking about</font><br />
617 Where to travel to next. What's on your short list?<br />
618 <font color="red" size=+2>On a typical Friday night I am</font><br />
619 Having dinner with friends, participating in a birthday scavenger hunt in the city, taking an overnight flight somewhere fun, or on the couch with my pets catching up on the TiVo.</p>
621 <p>The better question is, "What am I doing on Saturday morning?" I could be at the farmer's market, on a run, or on a bike ride. I might take my dog to the beach, play golf, or take a book and a blanket and lay out in the back yard. Or maybe I'll be in another state or country doing touristy things. Sometimes I sleep in because I did too much on Friday night!</p>
623 <p>What do you do on Saturday mornings?<br />
624 <font color="red" size=+2>The most private thing I'm willing to admit</font><br />
625 Is written in my blog. Feel free to search the web for it.<br />
626 <font color="red" size=+2>You should message me if</font><br />
627 You think you can make me laugh. And if you can use spell check, proper grammar, and type complete words.</p>
629 <p>Tell me about what kind of car you drive and why. Everyone has a story, what is yours?<br />
633 <p>So I responded in a detailed fashion:</p>
637 [not proofread, but relatively accurate...]
639 <p>OK, I read your profile. I will respond, it'll be easy because there are so many interesting things to respond to in your profile. However women have a tendency of not responding at all - perhaps you've noticed... ah, probably not - so spending too much time could easily be a total waste of my time. If nothing else, could you shoot me a response back saying you got my message? I ask because I believe that dating sites like OKCupid often throttle men.</p>
641 <p>I will not address everything in your profile - I'll leave parts to hopefully be discussed over a glass of wine.</p>
643 <p>Alrighty, to the profile: Geek eh? Love your job. What is your job? I run a small computer consulting firm so I'm a qualified geek.</p>
645 <p>Monogamous? Check. Over 28. Check. "If I wanted a child, I'd adopt"? Love it! That's a good line.</p>
647 <p>I think a public display of affection should be just enough that people realize you're together.</p>
649 <p>Me, 100% atheist. I'm a member of several atheist groups in fact but I don't always attend any of them as they are often preaching to the choir! Heh, a joke! I don't need to get past the brain washing as I never really believed in the first place. I think the recent SCOTUS decision was great and now can the gays and lesbians frigging stop bitching about things. Yes you now get to enjoy all the lovely benefits of gay divorce! Yes I'm against gay marriage. Then again I'm against straight marriage too. Or, rather, I think that marriage should not be something that the government does nor endorses nor promotes. In short it's just none of their business. Marriage is essentially forming a corp or other contracted agreements. Let the courts handle dissolution of marriages but there shouldn't be any extra benefits for married people.</p>
651 <p>I get my news from http://news.google.com. Where's your geek cred?</p>
653 <p>I'm constantly amazed that people think of politics only in two dimensions. Dems or Repubs? Really? The world is not 2 dimensional - why is your politics? There are other parties ya know. I'm libertarian but I can hold a conversation with an anarchist and admit they have very good points. To me freedom is paramount because if you don't have that, nothing else really matters. Government will never be efficient - that's why the Founders stressed so hard in a *limited* government. "Government governs best that which governs least" as has been said.</p>
655 <p>I know where meat comes from and I know it has ecological effects. So does eating plants.</p>
657 <p>I agree ignorance is not an excuse. I also say sure you are entitled to your opinion - but it must be an informed and thoughtfully considered opinion.</p>
659 <p>As for making out, attraction and sex, sorry but I have a 3 date rule. Why? Well in my mind if you don't have a serious interest in exploring the other person and a close, intimate level by the 3rd date then you don't have any chemistry and the chances are high that you never will. At that point your just wasting your time and missing out on a great possibility with somebody else. I believe in cutting your loses. And no, you should never trust that a man will go weeks on end without sex. It's like asking somebody not to eat.</p>
661 <p>If you believe in chivalry at all then you're no feminist. Speaking of which, how exactly do you define chivalry and more importantly, what is the role of the female in this? Because to me it's totally lopsided and I refuse to participate in unfair institution. Make fair and I'll play along.</p>
663 <p>To me rap is music for the tone deaf!</p>
665 <p>OK, I think you can agree that read your profile. Now can you return the favor and respond to me. I'll be waiting, but not for too long. Limited time offer.</p>
667 <p>Please present your coupons before ordering.</p>
673 <p>Since sometimes I sense time period where OKCupid seems to throttle men and I get no messages nor even a visit or like for a month or so I decided since this chick's into technology and speaks about her blog that I'd check it out. Found her on Twitter (<a href="https://twitter.com/search?src=typd&q=neptonia">neptonia</a>) I'd tweet here to tell her that I sent her a message on OKCupid. I was traveling at the time and when I touched down at SFO I decided to check to see if she responded to me on Twitter only to find out she simply blocked me! So I responded to her with:</p>
676 I tweeted you earlier to let you know I messaged you here. Just checked twitter and you blocked me. That's cold man. I didn't deserve that! That was really mean and uncalled for. Ask yourself if you're really that mean to people. If you weren't interested the pillow thing to do would be to simply say you weren't interested. You should really all yourself if this is really the kind of person you want to be...​
679 <p>This is usually where everybody asks in anticipation "Well what did she say?". She said nothing. My money's on she will say nothing and she will block me on OKCupid and curse guys as having anger issues or needing validation. Really? No honey, what I need is for you to act normal!</p>
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697 dc:title="Ignoring people is rude - Wall of Shame"
698 dc:identifier="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/06/ignoring-people.html"
700 dc:description="Never ceases to amaze me how women don't understand that ignoring people is rude. I've had them say such things as "Well if I don't respond then you should get the message". Oh I get the message alright. You're just..."
702 dc:date="2015-06-23T19:05:51-06:00" />
706 <div id="entry-1993" class="entry-asset asset hentry">
707 <div class="asset-header">
708 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/06/ignoring-people.html" rel="bookmark">Ignoring people is rude - Wall of Shame</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">Personal</a></h2>
709 <div class="asset-meta">
710 <span class="byline">
712 <abbr class="published" title="2015-06-23T19:05:51-06:00">June 23, 2015 7:05 PM</abbr>
717 <span class="separator">|</span> <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/06/ignoring-people.html#trackbacks">No TrackBacks</a>
721 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
723 <div class="asset-body">
724 <p>Never ceases to amaze me how women don't understand that ignoring people is rude. I've had them say such things as "Well if I don't respond then you should get the message". Oh I get the message alright. You're just another rude bitch who disrespects others by ignoring them. Let's face facts: Nobody likes being ignored. Nobody like hanging on waiting for a response nor getting their hopes up. You're responsibility girls is to fucking <b>communicate!!!</b> You say you're better communicators. Great. Then fucking announce it! I've been know to say that if women want men to know that "no" means "no" then it's incumbent on them to fucking at least say it!</p>
726 <p>Look, I'm not saying you have to field requests from every asshole out there. But if a guy comes along and politely expresses interest to ignore him is the same as being a conceited bitch. The polite response is to say "Sorry but I'm not interested". It takes less than 30 seconds to do so. You can't even spend 30 seconds to let somebody who just stuck his neck out and is waiting for a response? If not then the message you are sending is not one you think you are sending. The message that is being received is you're one fucking stuck up bitch!</p>
728 <p>Here's a nice example of this and my response: On POF.com, I sent my standard polite request to <a href="http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=11210533">Minenotyours</a> (Perhaps the username should have tipped me off):</p>
730 <blockquote type=cite>
731 <img src="/blogs/Personal/Minenotyours.jpg"><img src="/blogs/Personal/Minenotyours2.jpg"><p>
732 Hi....yea..I don't typically responded if I'm not interested. ..kinda the good thing about "online"....saves the while rejection/guilt ...but since you requested, thank you very much but I'm not interested :( sorry and good luck out there!</p></blockquote>
734 <p>And here's my response:</p>
736 <blockquote type=cite>
737 <p>I see so normally you're just rude. Got it.</p>
739 <p>You see nobody likes to be ignored and while it may feel guilty to you to say that you're not interested in somebody, it is indeed your polite responsibility to do so. That's how the man/woman relationship works, sweetheart. I'd much rather be told there's no interest than to be ignored! Most guys I talk to agree. I can only hope that you are ignored for the rest of your life so that you can learn this important lesson. To hide behind the internet and ignore people disrespects the other person. It's amazing to me why women don't know this. Apparently your mom never done taught you no manners! Look, I stick my neck out every day, many times a day, and you hide behind the internet ignoring polite requests. What does that make me? (Considering I do so politely - a gentleman) And what does that make you? Think about it.</p>
741 <p>It doesn't make me mad that you rejected me rather it makes me mad that you think it's OK to rudely ignore people!</p>
743 <p>I would say "good luck" but instead I'm thinking it'd be great if you got ignored by 1/2 of the people that routinely and rudely ignore men! Most women are misandrists and they wonder why men, in utter frustration, resort to misogyny. This is one reason why girls...</p>
745 <p>Gawd forbid I ask how you came up with the determination that you weren't interested in me considering you didn't even bother to visit my profile! Yeah I know because otherwise POF would have showed me that you visited. Nah you just looked at the pictures and made the same judgement call that you probably **** that men make and rejected me based on looks alone. Wonderful. Bam, I just proved that you are as bad as the men you complain about. How does that make you feel sweetie? Well honey, you just live with that. I know I'm much better than you deserve!</p>
748 <p>'Tis quite amazing how women complain about men just basing things off of looks when it's clear that I just busted this chick doing <b>exactly the same thing!</b></p>
754 <div class="asset-footer"></div>
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764 rdf:about="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/05/the-script.html"
765 trackback:ping="http://defaria.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/345"
766 dc:title="The Script"
767 dc:identifier="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/05/the-script.html"
769 dc:description="Online dating it weird, and like many things the best way to handle it sometimes is with a script. For a man, online dating is a game of numbers, much like it is in life. Woman rarely make the first..."
771 dc:date="2015-05-05T22:24:50-06:00" />
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776 <div class="asset-header">
777 <h2 class="asset-name entry-title"><a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/05/the-script.html" rel="bookmark">The Script</a> - <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">Personal</a></h2>
778 <div class="asset-meta">
779 <span class="byline">
781 <abbr class="published" title="2015-05-05T22:24:50-06:00">May 5, 2015 10:24 PM</abbr>
786 <span class="separator">|</span> <a href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/05/the-script.html#trackbacks">No TrackBacks</a>
790 <div class="asset-content entry-content">
792 <div class="asset-body">
793 <p>Online dating it weird, and like many things the best way to handle it sometimes is with a script. For a man, online dating is a game of numbers, much like it is in life. Woman rarely make the first move so men have to. You can respond to many postings from women and you will get the same response rate, on average, that every other marketing campaign gets - 1%. Yes guys that means if you respond to 100 women on online dating you may get 10 women who respond to your message. But worse yet, your chances for a correspondence that will lead to meeting face to face is also about 1%. So respond to 100 women, you might meet one.</p>
795 <p>So respond to 1000 women, 100 will respond, you'll date 10 and maybe 1 on a second date. Liking online dating yet? Respond to 10000 women, 1000 will respond, 100 dates (over time), about 10 on second dates and you may get into 1 or 2 relationships. Anybody ever hear a guy saying that it's all about the numbers?</p>
797 <p>So ladies that's one reason why men don't read your profiles thoroughly - quite simply because it's a total waste of time reading 10000 profiles, that all pretty much say the same things, when you're only gonna be meeting a handful of women. No instead you develop a system. Here's mine...</p>
799 <p>Let me stress that as soon as a woman breaks out of the cycle or the script I immediately return to a very focused and personal connection with the person. Liken this to going fishing. You sit on the bank and cast your rod. You watch the bobber bop and only then do you give personal attention to your pole. You get nothing, re-bait, cast your line. This time a little less thinking a bite will come soon. After a while you learn to ignore the false signals but give your undivided attention to those signals you should pay attention to. It's really no different here.</p>
801 <p>So my first message out to women is canned. I have a 3 step program. It's not designed to fool or trick women, or to treat them badly. It's designed to limit the amount of hopes that get high when I respond to a new woman. It's designed to lesson my hurt and to cut my losses early when I can recognize that this will not work out or there just isn't interest here. It's also designed to make it so I don't bother the lady anymore with my requests.</p>
803 <p>The first message is:</p>
805 <blockquote>Really liked your profile and pics. I like to keep it short here and allow the woman to check me out and respond if she's interested. I also ask if you would be so kind as to also let me know if you are not. You'd be surprised how many fail to...</blockquote>
807 <p>The design of this message is to politely express my interest in them, to have them check me out and to determine whether or not there is any interest on their side. I ask specifically to let me know if they are not interested <strong>because if they are not I don't want to waste my time or their time on this</strong>. However here are some of the responses that I get to my first message:</p>
809 <blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/RockerHeart">RockerHeart</a> on OKCupid:<p>
811 <p>You wrote me loser, not the other way around. How's that for a reply, you creep!​</p>
813 <p><img alt="RockerHeart.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/RockerHeart.png" width="558" height="502" class="mt-image-none" style="" /></blockquote></p>
817 <blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ocdesign66">ocdesign66</a> on OKCupid:<p>
819 <p>Well, that certainly sets u to the top of rudeness</p>
821 <p><img alt="ocdesign66.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/ocdesign66.png" width="558" height="372" class="mt-image-none" style="" /></p>
825 <blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/akaSabrina">akaSabrina</a>
827 <p>Insecure and needy people need validation. You messaged me. If I was interested in you, I would have messaged you. Words do not need to be written as actions speak louder than words. Nothing to do with being polite or rude just as I do not choose to engage in conversation with strangers on the train. Now that you have a reply, I hope you feel better.
829 <p>However, "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine." Bruce Lee</p>
831 <p>A reply won't be necessary as you'll be blocked and I won't see it. <br />
832 Good luck on your approach.</p>
834 <p><img alt="akaSabrina.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/akaSabrina.png" width="558" height="744" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
837 <blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/italy123456">italy123456</a>
839 <p>Guess youre alone cause your an ugly asshole who can't take a polite rejection ​</p>
841 <p><img alt="italy123456.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/italy123456.png" width="558" height="744" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
844 <blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Mixalusa">Mixalusa</a>
846 <p>Sorry, but I must have missed that part of the message. Though I think you might be a tad rude jumping to conclusions that people don't have other things going on in life. But to comply with your request, I am not interested, especially after you felt the need to call me out. Anyway...good luck.​</p>
848 <p><img alt="Mixalusa.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/Mixalusa.png" width="558" height="744" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
851 <p>To which I responded:<br></p>
853 <p>Really? So a man politely expresses interest in you and also politely asks you to indicate if you are interested in him and you think him a "tad rude" for doing so? That people have "other things going on in life" and therefore their non-response should not be taken as a "Well hell I have more other things going on in life that I don't need to respond to your sorry ass" and you somehow see that as polite? Really? You should be ashamed of yourself as you are stuck up and conceded!</p>
855 <p>The insecurity and virtuousness which women lash out speaks more to their loneliness and frustration than anything else. Go ahead girls, try to sue me.</p>
857 <blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Eveline8">Eveline8</a>
859 <p>Nice attitude early in the morning, good luck with that :) you should change the"respond if she interested" to you better respond because my fragile ego can't handle anything less. Have a good week! :)</p>
861 <p><img alt="Eveline8.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/Eveline8.png" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
864 <p>To which I responded:<br></p>
866 <p>Nah I got it. "you better respond if you don't want to be considered a condescending bitch". Yeah I like that, bitch!
868 <p>I would ask you exactly why you consider me politely asking whether or not (yeah that or not part) you are interested in me as if I have no fucking ego. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I asked you a question, politely and this is how you respond?!? Shame on you! Shame on you bitch!</p>
872 <p>Really! More to come...</p>
874 <p>I usually wait for a couple of weeks and to all the women who don't respond (remember averaging about 99%) in the last couple of weeks I send them a message of "Well I guess you're just another rude woman who ignores a man's polite request." which is 100% true, then I unlike them and "hide" them. Again, I'm trying to make it so that I don't stumble upon them again. That's also so that I don't bother them again.</p>
876 <p>Sometimes people respond, albeit passive aggressively by visiting but still saying nothing. I then send them:</p>
879 <p>I hope you enjoyed your stay at my profile but it's closing time. Please make your way to the back gates which is just through the gift shop!</p>
881 <p>Come again, come often and be sure to tell all your friends about me...</p>
883 <p>And no lingering in the lingerie department! We haven installed special close circuit cameras to monitor that situation!</p>
888 <p>Which is intended to be a "poke" but also to be funny and slightly playful in a male/female perspective. I'm flirting here - this is supposed to be dating right? This is a dating site isn't it? Still some women get the creepies from this. I've been known to respond "No I don't send this message to the all the girls - I usually send it to women, who know the difference between creepy and flirtatious!".</p>
890 <p>Finally if in 3 attempts I get nothing I simply write them off on the "three strikes and you're out" rule. Really, if there's no interest after 3 messages and many weeks, the cause is lost and there's no sense of continuing right?</p>
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