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    <title>Personal</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/" />
    <link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/atom.xml" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2014-02-17:/blogs/Personal//5</id>
    <updated>2015-07-02T05:55:43Z</updated>
    <subtitle>Entries of a personal nature</subtitle>
    <generator uri="http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/">Movable Type 5.2.3</generator>

<entry>
    <title>Girls, this is why men respond with short msgs like &quot;hey&quot; or &quot;what&apos;s up&quot;</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/07/girls-this-is-w.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2015:/blogs/Personal//5.1994</id>

    <published>2015-07-01T17:38:31Z</published>
    <updated>2015-07-02T05:55:43Z</updated>

    <summary>Sometimes when I find a woman&apos;s profile is well written and interesting I take the time out to write a longer response because I feel a connection on a few levels. And this is the kind of response that you...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Sometimes when I find a woman's profile is well written and interesting I take the time out to write a longer response because I feel a connection on a few levels. And this is the kind of response that you typically get. Men, don't bother writing long responses as often women will treat you like this one.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/neptonia">neptonia</a> had the following long profile (reproduced here so that you get the full picture):</p>

<p><img src="/blogs/Personal/neptonia.jpg" width=80%></p>

<blockquote>
<hr>
<font color="red" size=+2>My self-summary</font>

<p>Please read this entirely before contacting me. Thanks!

<p>I asked friends for three words and the first response was, "alluring, amusing, and amazing." A close second was, "sassy smart vixen."</p>

<p>I'm not your typical geek. I prefer waking early in the mornings. I prefer real life, and I shower regularly unless I'm in a country without potable water. I believe that technology should be unobtrusive, but beautiful. I also believe technology should be left at home occasionally. And I have a healthy streak of sarcasm.</p>

<p>I love live bands, a science museum, or reading a good book. I'll try just about anything once except for jumping out of a perfectly good plane. And I'll take a campfire, or a morning kayak any day of the week.</p>

<p>Over the years, I've formed some very strong opinions about touchy subjects. I don't believe that politics, religion, and sex should be avoided on a first date, so I'll mention them here and get them out in the open.</p>

<p>- I am monogamous and you should be too. I love my polyamorous friends, but I have a hard enough time finding one guy to date, let alone many.</p>

<p>- If you are under 28, turn back now. I am not a cougar. I am not a notch in your bedpost, and no, you can not come over so you can do your laundry. If I wanted a child, I'd adopt.</p>

<p>- I am a strong-willed, confident, independent woman. I do not need nor want constant hand holding--literally or figuratively. I'm not a big fan of public displays of affection and I don't need to be in constant contact with you physically or electronically. I'll respect that you have a job and are busy and expect you will do the same for me.</p>

<p>- I'm not interested in organized religion. I consider myself a recovering Catholic. It's like being a recovering alcoholic--I'm never not one, I just don't practice. It is hard to get past the brainwashing. I broke up with the Catholic Church because I shouldn't be treated differently because I'm a woman. Neither should gay people for that matter. And sex isn't a sin.</p>

<p>- I don't believe in God or Jesus any more than I believe in Zeus and Hercules. They are stories that ancient people told.</p>

<p>- I get my news from NPR, The NYTimes, The Atlantic, and other online sources. I don't watch network news because of its sensationalism. I definitely never watch Fox News, if you can call it that.</p>

<p>- I am centrist, but am forced to vote on the left because I think the right has gone off the deep end. I'd like to see balanced budgets with cuts made all around--leaving the departments to decide how to implement them--and tax loopholes removed. I'd love it if the government were more efficient, but I think they would have to hire smarter people first.</p>

<p>- Science is something you understand, not something you believe in. I understand the effects humankind has had on global warming and am trying to do my part to stop it.</p>

<p>- I'm a vegetarian. I'm not against people eating meat, but you should understand where meat comes from, the effect it has on the environment and have made your peace with it. I will occasionally eat meat when it is something special.</p>

<p>- Ignorance is never an excuse. I actually don't believe in excuses. I try to own up to things I get wrong. If I'm late, it's because I didn't plan enough time to get where I was going.</p>

<p>- I believe in becoming friends before lovers. In other words, I'm not interested in making out with you or going home with you on a first, second, or third date. I am a long-term, Wall Street investment, not a Vegas slot machine.</p>

<p>- I don't believe in having sex as often as you brush your teeth. I enjoy sex and I don't want to go weeks without it if I'm in a relationship, but if you are unable to go weeks without it, I'll never trust you when we are apart.</p>

<p>- Speaking of brushing your teeth, I go to the dentist every six months and appreciate good teeth. It is hard to kiss someone with bad teeth.</p>

<p>- I never want to be in a situation where I consider getting an abortion, but if I do, I want safe, legal choices.</p>

<p>- I have shot guns before. I don't own any and have no interest in being with someone who does. I'm a firm believer that the pen is mightier than the sword. And the people I know who own guns are usually the most mentally unstable people I know.</p>

<p>- I am a feminist, but I won't balk at a little chivalry like holding the door open for me.</p>

<p>- I don't like country or rap music. I will tolerate it in small doses, but don't expect me to grow to like it.</p>

<p>- I have worked hard to get where I am and I expect you to have as well. Ambition is a turn on.</p>

<p>- Decades ago, I took the batteries out of my biological clock and hid it in the closet. If you decide to find it and put fresh batteries in it, you'd better mean it. I'm pretty convinced at this point that I don't want to be chasing toddlers around in my 40's.</p>

<p>If you got this far and laughed because you feel the same way, then keep reading. ;-)<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>What I'm doing with my life</font><br />
Working at a job I love. Traveling far and wide. Golfing as the sun rises. Running, although I don't have to do another half marathon to prove anything. Biking to save the environment. Photographing my adventures. Blogging about it all.<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>I'm really good at</font><br />
(according to the friends I surveyed)</p>

<p>- Photography (I'm just an amateur)<br />
- Having fun<br />
- Traveling/Vacations (They assure me, if anyone is good at this, it is me)<br />
- "Walking my dog" (I use air quotes because I wish it was a euphemism)<br />
- Innocent-sounding provocations<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>The first things people usually notice about me</font><br />
My sparkling personality--that is if they are actually listening to me and not looking at my cleavage.<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food</font><br />
I hate picking favorites.<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>The six things I could never do without</font><br />
1. My family & friends<br />
2. My pets (although they are getting older)<br />
3. My iPhone (unless I'm on vacation)<br />
4. My Nikon D3200<br />
5. My imagination<br />
6. My sense of humor<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>I spend a lot of time thinking about</font><br />
Where to travel to next. What's on your short list?<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>On a typical Friday night I am</font><br />
Having dinner with friends, participating in a birthday scavenger hunt in the city, taking an overnight flight somewhere fun, or on the couch with my pets catching up on the TiVo.</p>

<p>The better question is, "What am I doing on Saturday morning?" I could be at the farmer's market, on a run, or on a bike ride. I might take my dog to the beach, play golf, or take a book and a blanket and lay out in the back yard. Or maybe I'll be in another state or country doing touristy things. Sometimes I sleep in because I did too much on Friday night!</p>

<p>What do you do on Saturday mornings?<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>The most private thing I'm willing to admit</font><br />
Is written in my blog. Feel free to search the web for it.<br />
<font color="red" size=+2>You should message me if</font><br />
You think you can make me laugh. And if you can use spell check, proper grammar, and type complete words.</p>

<p>Tell me about what kind of car you drive and why. Everyone has a story, what is yours?<br />
</blockquote><br />
<hr></p>

<p>So I responded in a detailed fashion:</p>

<hr>
<blockquote>
[not proofread, but relatively accurate...]

<p>OK, I read  your profile. I will respond, it'll be easy because there are so many interesting things to respond to in your profile. However women have a tendency of not responding at all - perhaps you've noticed... ah, probably not - so spending too much time could easily be a total waste of my time. If nothing else, could you shoot me a response back saying  you got my message? I ask because I believe that dating sites like OKCupid often throttle men.</p>

<p>I will not address everything in your profile - I'll leave parts to hopefully be discussed over a glass of wine.</p>

<p>Alrighty, to the profile: Geek eh? Love your job. What is your job? I run a small computer consulting firm so I'm a qualified geek.</p>

<p>Monogamous? Check. Over 28. Check. "If I wanted a child, I'd adopt"? Love it! That's a good line.</p>

<p>I think a public display of affection should be just enough that people realize you're together.</p>

<p>Me, 100% atheist. I'm a member of several atheist groups in fact but I don't always attend any of them as they are often preaching to the choir! Heh, a joke! I don't need to get past the brain washing as I never really believed in the first place. I think the recent SCOTUS decision was great and now can the gays and lesbians frigging stop bitching about things. Yes you now get to enjoy all the lovely benefits of gay divorce! Yes I'm against gay marriage. Then again I'm against straight marriage too. Or, rather, I think that marriage should not be something that the government does nor endorses nor promotes. In short it's just none of their business. Marriage is essentially forming a corp or other contracted agreements. Let the courts handle dissolution of marriages but there shouldn't be any extra benefits for married people.</p>

<p>I get my news from http://news.google.com. Where's your geek cred?</p>

<p>I'm constantly amazed that people think of politics only in two dimensions. Dems or Repubs? Really? The world is not 2 dimensional - why is your politics? There are other parties ya know. I'm libertarian but I can hold a conversation with an anarchist and admit they have very good points. To me freedom is paramount because if you don't have that, nothing else really matters. Government will never be efficient - that's why the Founders stressed so hard in a *limited* government. "Government governs best that which governs least" as has been said.</p>

<p>I know where meat comes from and I know it has ecological effects. So does eating plants.</p>

<p>I agree ignorance is not an excuse. I also say sure you are entitled to your opinion - but it must be an informed and thoughtfully considered opinion.</p>

<p>As for making out, attraction and sex, sorry but I have a 3 date rule. Why? Well in my mind if you don't have a serious interest in exploring the other person and a close, intimate level by the 3rd date then you don't have any chemistry and the chances are high that you never will. At that point your just wasting your time and missing out on a great possibility with somebody else. I believe in cutting your loses. And no, you should never trust that a man will go weeks on end without sex. It's like asking somebody not to eat.</p>

<p>If you believe in chivalry at all then you're no feminist. Speaking of which, how exactly do you define chivalry and more importantly, what is the role of the female in this? Because to me it's totally lopsided and I refuse to participate in unfair institution. Make fair and I'll play along.</p>

<p>To me rap is music for the tone deaf!</p>

<p>OK, I think you can agree that read your profile. Now can you return the favor and respond to me. I'll be waiting, but not for too long. Limited time offer.</p>

<p>Please present your coupons before ordering.</p>

<p>Thanks<br />
</blockquote><br />
<hr></p>

<p>Since sometimes I sense time period where OKCupid seems to throttle men and I get no messages nor even a visit or like for a month or so I decided since this chick's into technology and speaks about her blog that I'd check it out. Found her on Twitter (<a href="https://twitter.com/search?src=typd&q=neptonia">neptonia</a>) I'd tweet here to tell her that I sent her a message on OKCupid. I was traveling at the time and when I touched down at SFO I decided to check to see if she responded to me on Twitter only to find out she simply blocked me! So I responded to her with:</p>

<hr>
I tweeted you earlier to let you know I messaged you here. Just checked twitter and you blocked me. That's cold man. I didn't deserve that! That was really mean and uncalled for. Ask yourself if you're really that mean to people. If you weren't interested the pillow thing to do would be to simply say you weren't interested. You should really all yourself if this is really the kind of person you want to be...​
<hr>

<p>This is usually where everybody asks in anticipation "Well what did she say?". She said nothing. My money's on she will say nothing and she will block me on OKCupid and curse guys as having anger issues or needing validation. Really? No honey, what I need is for you to act normal!</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Ignoring people is rude - Wall of Shame</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/06/ignoring-people.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2015:/blogs/Personal//5.1993</id>

    <published>2015-06-24T00:05:51Z</published>
    <updated>2015-06-24T00:22:46Z</updated>

    <summary>Never ceases to amaze me how women don&apos;t understand that ignoring people is rude. I&apos;ve had them say such things as &quot;Well if I don&apos;t respond then you should get the message&quot;. Oh I get the message alright. You&apos;re just...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Never ceases to amaze me how women don't understand that ignoring people is rude. I've had them say such things as "Well if I don't respond then you should get the message". Oh I get the message alright. You're just another rude bitch who disrespects others by ignoring them. Let's face facts: Nobody likes being ignored. Nobody like hanging on waiting for a response nor getting their hopes up. You're responsibility girls is to fucking <b>communicate!!!</b> You say you're better communicators. Great. Then fucking announce it! I've been know to say that if women want men to know that "no" means "no" then it's incumbent on them to fucking at least say it!</p>

<p>Look, I'm not saying you have to field requests from every asshole out there. But if a guy comes along and politely expresses interest to ignore him is the same as being a conceited bitch. The polite response is to say "Sorry but I'm not interested". It takes less than 30 seconds to do so. You can't even spend 30 seconds to let somebody who just stuck his neck out and is waiting for a response? If not then the message you are sending is not one you think you are sending. The message that is being received is you're one fucking stuck up bitch!</p>

<p>Here's a nice example of this and my response: On POF.com, I sent my standard polite request to <a href="http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=11210533">Minenotyours</a> (Perhaps the username should have tipped me off):</p>

<blockquote type=cite>
<img src="/blogs/Personal/Minenotyours.jpg"><img src="/blogs/Personal/Minenotyours2.jpg"><p>
Hi....yea..I don't typically responded if I'm not interested. ..kinda the good thing about "online"....saves the while rejection/guilt ...but since you requested, thank you very much but I'm not interested :( sorry and good luck out there!</p></blockquote>

<p>And here's my response:</p>

<blockquote type=cite>
<p>I see so normally you're just rude. Got it.</p>

<p>You see nobody likes to be ignored and while it may feel guilty to you to say that you're not interested in somebody, it is indeed your polite responsibility to do so. That's how the man/woman relationship works, sweetheart. I'd much rather be told there's no interest than to be ignored! Most guys I talk to agree. I can only hope that you are ignored for the rest of your life so that you can learn this important lesson. To hide behind the internet and ignore people disrespects the other person. It's amazing to me why women don't know this. Apparently your mom never done taught you no manners! Look, I stick my neck out every day, many times a day, and you hide behind the internet ignoring polite requests. What does that make me? (Considering I do so politely - a gentleman) And what does that make you? Think about it.</p>

<p>It doesn't make me mad that you rejected me rather it makes me mad that you think it's OK to rudely ignore people!</p>

<p>I would say "good luck" but instead I'm thinking it'd be great if you got ignored by 1/2 of the people that routinely and rudely ignore men! Most women are misandrists and they wonder why men, in utter frustration, resort to misogyny. This is one reason why girls...</p>

<p>Gawd forbid I ask how you came up with the determination that you weren't interested in me considering you didn't even bother to visit my profile! Yeah I know because otherwise POF would have showed me that you visited. Nah you just looked at the pictures and made the same judgement call that you probably **** that men make and rejected me based on looks alone. Wonderful. Bam, I just proved that you are as bad as the men you complain about. How does that make you feel sweetie? Well honey, you just live with that. I know I'm much better than you deserve!</p>
</blockquote>

<p>'Tis quite amazing how women complain about men just basing things off of looks when it's clear that I just busted this chick doing <b>exactly the same thing!</b></p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>The Script</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/05/the-script.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2015:/blogs/Personal//5.1992</id>

    <published>2015-05-06T03:24:50Z</published>
    <updated>2015-05-09T03:38:06Z</updated>

    <summary>Online dating it weird, and like many things the best way to handle it sometimes is with a script. For a man, online dating is a game of numbers, much like it is in life. Woman rarely make the first...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Online dating it weird, and like many things the best way to handle it sometimes is with a script. For a man, online dating is a game of numbers, much like it is in life. Woman rarely make the first move so men have to. You can respond to many postings from women and you will get the same response rate, on average, that every other marketing campaign gets - 1%. Yes guys that means if you respond to 100 women on online dating you may get 10 women who respond to your message. But worse yet, your chances for a correspondence that will lead to meeting face to face is also about 1%. So respond to 100 women, you might meet one.</p>

<p>So respond to 1000 women, 100 will respond, you'll date 10 and maybe 1 on a second date. Liking online dating yet? Respond to 10000 women, 1000 will respond, 100 dates (over time), about 10 on second dates and you may get into 1 or 2 relationships. Anybody ever hear a guy saying that it's all about the numbers?</p>

<p>So ladies that's one reason why men don't read your profiles thoroughly - quite simply because it's a total waste of time reading 10000 profiles, that all pretty much say the same things, when you're only gonna be meeting a handful of women. No instead you develop a system. Here's mine...</p>

<p>Let me stress that as soon as a woman breaks out of the cycle or the script I immediately return to a very focused and personal connection with the person. Liken this to going fishing. You sit on the bank and cast your rod. You watch the bobber bop and only then do you give personal attention to your pole. You get nothing, re-bait, cast your line. This time a little less thinking a bite will come soon. After a while you learn to ignore the false signals but give your undivided attention to those signals you should pay attention to. It's really no different here.</p>

<p>So my first message out to women is canned. I have a 3 step program. It's not designed to fool or trick women, or to treat them badly. It's designed to limit the amount of hopes that get high when I respond to a new woman. It's designed to lesson my hurt and to cut my losses early when I can recognize that this will not work out or there just isn't interest here. It's also designed to make it so I don't bother the lady anymore with my requests.</p>

<p>The first message is:</p>

<blockquote>Really liked your profile and pics. I like to keep it short here and allow the woman to check me out and respond if she's interested. I also ask if you would be so kind as to also let me know if you are not. You'd be surprised how many fail to...</blockquote>

<p>The design of this message is to politely express my interest in them, to have them check me out and to determine whether or not there is any interest on their side. I ask specifically to let me know if they are not interested <strong>because if they are not I don't want to waste my time or their time on this</strong>. However here are some of the responses that I get to my first message:</p>

<blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/RockerHeart">RockerHeart</a> on OKCupid:<p>

<p>You wrote me loser, not the other way around. How's that for a reply, you creep!​</p>

<p><img alt="RockerHeart.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/RockerHeart.png" width="558" height="502" class="mt-image-none" style="" /></blockquote></p>

</blockquote>

<blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ocdesign66">ocdesign66</a> on OKCupid:<p>

<p>Well, that certainly sets u to the top of rudeness</p>

<p><img alt="ocdesign66.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/ocdesign66.png" width="558" height="372" class="mt-image-none" style="" /></p>

</blockquote>

<blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/akaSabrina">akaSabrina</a>

<p>Insecure and needy people need validation. You messaged me. If I was interested in you, I would have messaged you. Words do not need to be written as actions speak louder than words. Nothing to do with being polite or rude just as I do not choose to engage in conversation with strangers on the train. Now that you have a reply, I hope you feel better. 

<p>However, "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine." Bruce Lee</p>

<p>A reply won't be necessary as you'll be blocked and I won't see it. <br />
Good luck on your approach.</p>

<p><img alt="akaSabrina.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/akaSabrina.png" width="558" height="744" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
</blockquote></p>

<blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/italy123456">italy123456</a>

<p>Guess youre alone cause your an ugly asshole who can't take a polite rejection ​</p>

<p><img alt="italy123456.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/italy123456.png" width="558" height="744" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
</blockquote></p>

<blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Mixalusa">Mixalusa</a>

<p>Sorry, but I must have missed that part of the message. Though I think you might be a tad rude jumping to conclusions that people don't have other things going on in life. But to comply with your request, I am not interested, especially after you felt the need to call me out. Anyway...good luck.​</p>

<p><img alt="Mixalusa.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/Mixalusa.png" width="558" height="744" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
</blockquote></p>

<p>To which I responded:<br></p>

<p>Really? So a man politely expresses interest in you and also politely asks you to indicate if you are interested in him and you think him a "tad rude" for doing so? That people have "other things going on in life" and therefore their non-response should not be taken as a "Well hell I have more other things going on in life that I don't need to respond to your sorry ass" and you somehow see that as polite? Really? You should be ashamed of yourself as you are stuck up and conceded!</p>

<p>The insecurity and virtuousness which women lash out speaks more to their loneliness and frustration than anything else. Go ahead girls, try to sue me.</p>

<blockquote>From <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Eveline8">Eveline8</a>

<p>Nice attitude early in the morning,  good luck with that :) you should change the"respond if she interested" to you better respond because my fragile ego can't handle anything less.  Have a good week!  :)</p>

<p><img alt="Eveline8.png" src="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/Eveline8.png" class="mt-image-none" style="" /><br />
</blockquote></p>

<p>To which I responded:<br></p>

<p>Nah I got it. "you better respond if you don't want to be considered a condescending bitch". Yeah I like that, bitch!

<p>I would ask you exactly why you consider me politely asking whether or not (yeah that or not part) you are interested in me as if I have no fucking ego. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I asked you a question, politely and this is how you respond?!? Shame on you! Shame on you bitch!</p>

<p>Later!</p></p>

<p>Really! More to come...</p>

<p>I usually wait for a couple of weeks and to all the women who don't respond (remember averaging about 99%) in the last couple of weeks I send them a message of "Well I guess you're just another rude woman who ignores a man's polite request." which is 100% true, then I unlike them and "hide" them. Again, I'm trying to make it so that I don't stumble upon them again. That's also so that I don't bother them again.</p>

<p>Sometimes people respond, albeit passive aggressively by visiting but still saying nothing. I then send them:</p>

<blockquote>
<p>I hope you enjoyed your stay at my profile but it's closing time. Please make your way to the back gates which is just through the gift shop!</p>

<p>Come again, come often and be sure to tell all your friends about me...</p>

<p>And no lingering in the lingerie department! We haven installed special close circuit cameras to monitor that situation!</p>

<p>:-)</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Which is intended to be a "poke" but also to be funny and slightly playful in a male/female perspective. I'm flirting here - this is supposed to be dating right? This is a dating site isn't it? Still some women get the creepies from this. I've been known to respond "No I don't send this message to the all the girls - I usually send it to women, who know the difference between creepy and flirtatious!".</p>

<p>Finally if in 3 attempts I get nothing I simply write them off on the "three strikes and you're out" rule. Really, if there's no interest after 3 messages and many weeks, the cause is lost and there's no sense of continuing right?</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Adventures in Online Dating</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2015/03/adventures-in-o.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2015:/blogs/Personal//5.1991</id>

    <published>2015-03-09T15:15:14Z</published>
    <updated>2015-03-19T16:24:11Z</updated>

    <summary>Man I haven&apos;t posted here in a while. I&apos;ve been doing some serious attempts at online dating and I decided to write about some of my experiences here. Last time I did online dating was back when match.com started. I...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Man I haven't posted here in a while. I've been doing some serious attempts at online dating and I decided to write about some of my experiences here. Last time I did online dating was back when match.com started. I had a free account. In fact I had a few free accounts and I used to do some social experiments there. Why? Well because online dating worked so badly back then. Alas, it has really not gotten much better and I'm convinced the reason for this is that people, human nature, hasn't changed.</p>

<p>So far my results seem to mimic <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYRHTsvujDU">this guy's analysis</a>. And while he seems sad he's right on. And yes, facing constant rejection and constantly being ignored makes you sad.</p>

<p>But girls here's a few tips from guys, or at least this guy:</p>

<ol>
  <li>Please don't post only pictures of sunsets and skies and puppies, etc. We know you like them but guys are visual and what we are interested in is <b>you</b>, not your puppy or your last trip to the Grand Canyon. The question we are trying to answer is can we envision ourselves making love to you for the next few years and not anybody else. If we can't look at you and feel aroused at all then chances are a relationship will never blossom. And girls, you feel the same way too but you will never admit it.</li>

<p>  <li>Short profiles or profiles that say just about nothing. I've seen many profiles of women with 3-7 pictures of them looking sexy, showing cleavage and leg and the like with the profile saying "I'm not into looks" or "not looking to hook up". Really? And that's the way you advertise yourself? Honestly? All we have to go by are a bunch of sexy photos so that's the image we see. And you know this.</li></p>

<p>  <li>Saying "Not looking to hook up" or "Not into friends with benefits". All men know this. All men know that's what you want to believe and yet many men "hook up" and have FWB. And many men are looking for long term relationships and are not looking just to "hook up" but to "hook up" often, repeatedly and do other things (sometimes called dating) and will respond positively. If you really want a man who is not into sex might I suggest trying the gay online dating...</li></p>

<p>  <li>Serial dating: Women will say "if you're a serial dater then move along". Hmmm... I'd think you'd be more concerned with the parallel daters not the serial daters. But women have confused the term, the phrase, and have taken it over to mean somebody who is not serious about dating or dates for a few, like until he gets laid, then breaks up and finds somebody else. Women, do you truly think that if a man has sex with you and your as gorgeous as you claim to be, good in the sack, etc. that the man will say "Well that was fantastic but I must break up with you now. I wouldn't want to have all that good sex with a beautiful woman who has her act together and is kind, nice, etc.". I mean what man would want that?!?<li></p>

<p>  <li>What's up with the pictures of you shooting a gun? Do you think that men find that attractive? "Ya know Buck, she was gorgeous, nice personality, great body and all but I can't be with her because she doesn't shoot guns!".</li> </p>

<p>  <li>Here's a clue girls - if you say you don't like it when a man messages you "Hey, what's up" or other short messages that say really nothing then you can bet that if you do the same thing - send a one word message like "Hey" - we won't like it either. Note to self, if a woman does this more than two times she's not communicative and not ready to date. She'll probably fade away from you too. Cut your losses and move on!</li><br />
</ol></p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Graceland</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2007/03/graceland.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2007:/blogs/Personal//5.620</id>

    <published>2007-03-07T04:44:25Z</published>
    <updated>2014-02-17T21:38:25Z</updated>

    <summary>Graceland was interesting. It&apos;s not as big or majestic of a house as I would have expected. Additionally one must remember the 70&apos;s styling. Some places had shag carpet on the walls and floor. Shortly after entering my camera, of...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Graceland was interesting. It's not as big or majestic of a house as I would have expected. Additionally one must remember the 70's styling. Some places had shag carpet on the walls and floor. Shortly after entering my camera, of course, ran out of battery juice so I didn't get
that many pictures.</p>

<p>Oh he did add on to the house and there were like 13 acres of property. There was a room that they converted and added all of his gold and platinum records and his jump suits. I was struck by how hard of a worker he was throughout his life and how he had so many awards from
not only Rock but Country and Gospel too.</p>

<p>I guess another thing about the house that was a little disappointing was that it wasn't really in an area that would might consider majestic. All around the house was just regular and poorer
neighborhoods.</p>

<p>I also say his auto collection and took a tour of his two airplanes. There were also interesting. One must bear in mind however that these were the 70's - not the 21st century! His jet, the <i>Lisa Marie</i> had two phones, both chorded. One rang up the pilot and the other
allowed him to call anybody on the ground. Also they had the then state of the art <i>quadraphonic</i> system and, of course, eight tracks!</p>

<p>I hear stories that one day Lisa Marie said that she never saw snow, so Elvis fired up the jet and they fly to Colorado just to play in the snow then flew back.</p>

<p>I also bought a CD, <i>The 68 Comeback Special</i>. I liked that one because of the "unplugged" section. I was struck, as a musician of just how much of just a plain singer Elvis was. He was first and foremost a singer. I also learned that he didn't write many, if any of his hits or other songs, opting instead for other, professional, song writers to write for him.  Regardless he always added his touch, had a very good vocal range and dexterity singing anywhere from gritty to ballad like. I wondered if he didn't die then how would he have adapted. It would have been interesting.</p>

<p>There was a memorial garden where Elvis, his mom, Gladys, dad, Vernon, his grandmother, Minnie and his stillborn twin brother. I didn't know he was 1/2 of a set of twins.</p>

<p>It was also interesting to know that Elvis, worldwide known, didn't do tours around the world. <a  href="http://www.elvis.com/elvisology/elvis_overview.asp">According to All About Elvis</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
  <h3>International Acclaim</h3>
  <p>Elvis Presley's trophy room at Graceland is filled with gold and
platinum records and awards of all<img
 src="http://www.elvis.com/elvisology/images/content_images/bio/elvogy_img_17066.jpg"
 align="right" height="205" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="165"> kinds
from around the world. Some of
the countries represented are: Norway, Yugoslavia, Japan, Australia,
South Africa, England, Sweden, Germany, France, Canada, Belgium, and
the Netherlands.</p>

<p>It is interesting to note that, except for a handful of movie soundtrack songs, Elvis did not record in other languages, and, except for five shows in three Canadian cities in 1957, he did not perform in concert outside the United States. Still, his recordings and films enjoyed, and continue to enjoy, popularity all over the globe, and he is known throughout the world by his first name.
</blockquote>

<p>I also learned that he was a very charitable man.</p>

<p>The 70's were known as the Concert Years where Elvis toured extensively until his death in '77. At the time of his death they say he weighed in at 350 lbs! I've looked at some <a href="http://youtube.com">youtube.com</a> footage from his '77 tour and he didn't look that fat.</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Surgeon and Cardiac Rehab</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2007/02/surgeon-and-car.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2007:/blogs/Personal//5.619</id>

    <published>2007-02-23T01:18:15Z</published>
    <updated>2007-02-22T23:20:01Z</updated>

    <summary>Nelson, Bill wrote: Andrew, Been a few days and I thought I would drop you a line. How are things going? Are you enjoying the weather? I have been down with a cold - still coming into to work but...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Nelson, Bill wrote:<br />
<blockquote type=cite><br />
Andrew,</p>

<p>Been a few days and I thought I would drop you a line.  How are things going?  Are you enjoying the weather?  I have been down with a cold - still
coming into to work but it is dragging me down.  Luckily I have not had to get
too close to anyone.  A number of other people have been staying  ome.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Sorry, I saw you're message this morning but I had cardiac rehab today
then went out for lunch with my brother. Then I got sleepy...;-)</p>

<p>Hell, I get to take naps now so I took advantage of that!</p>

<p>I'm still doing good. Like I said I'm doing cardiac rehab. Did a 2 hour
walk at Whiterock Lake Tuesday. I think that might have been a bit much
though as I got a cramping like pain under my left rib cage. The pain
has been moving around my chest a little bit. The nurses at cardiac
rehab said I may have done just a little to much and to take it a
little easier so I am. They said there's a lot of nerves and tissue
that are banged around and traumatized from the surgery and sometimes
people feel such pains for a while.</p>

<blockquote type=cite>
<p>Did you get to see your doctor this week?  Did he give you a “go back to work” pass?  A week from next Monday is 6<sup>th</sup>.  Will be good to have you back.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>I saw the surgeon last Monday. He just checked out his handiwork and
asked how I was doing. I asked him what he saw when he was in there. He
didn't seem to have a very good "bedside manner" nor was he that
talkative. He said they just went straight to the heart to do what was
necessary. I asked him if my arteries were constricted. He said yes, as
he expected. He told me to keep cleaning the incision and applying the
cream they gave me. I asked him if it were true that bypasses last only
10-15 years and is my best shot to just try to be as healthy as I
could. He said yes that was the best I can do and didn't really put a
length on how long a bypass will last.</p>

<p>All in all I got the impression that surgeons only care and know much
about the surgery itself. Sorta like asking the break repairmen if my
car will perform better and him answering "Well you'll stop better!".</p>

<p>I see my cardiologist on Monday. I'm getting the impression that the
cardiologist is <i>the man</i> when it comes to after surgery advice.
For example, I haven't had my cholesterol checked and I'm curious what
it has come down to with me taking cholesterol medicine for a month
now. I suspect also that the cardiologist is also the man with both the
<i>back to work pass</i> and the <i>now you can drive</i> pass. I
don't know what I'm gonna do when my brother leaves Saturday and I need
to go to say the grocery store if I'm still not allowed to drive.</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Continued recovery</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2007/02/continued-recov.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2007:/blogs/Personal//5.617</id>

    <published>2007-02-09T04:15:21Z</published>
    <updated>2007-02-09T02:27:51Z</updated>

    <summary>Home Recovery Continues Cindy arrived and as usual the girls started to gab more and more. Meantime I continue to recover. It&apos;s great to have good home cooking and people to take care of me. But I concentrate on getting...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<h2>Home Recovery Continues</h2>

<p>Cindy arrived and as usual the girls started to gab more and more. Meantime I continue to recover. It's great to have good home cooking and people to take care of me. But I concentrate on getting better, doing my walks. Being on the 3rd floor here means my walks are confined to the 3rd floor level. Back and forth, back and forth and getting boring. Slowly I added a flight of steps occasionally. Eventually I am able to go down and up all 3 flights of steps.</p>

<p>Now I can go down to the bottom and walk to the apartment office, check my mail, etc. Tomorrow I'm gonna try the treadmill in the workout gym by the office. My initial goal will be simple - 3 1/2 minutes at least. I gotta be doing better than before the operation! Maybe I can work that up a little to 5 or 10 minutes eventually.</p>

<p>Meantime I've caught a little cold - a sore throat - which sucks because coughing is still very difficult. Slowly my pains have been getting smaller and confiding themselves to my chest incision. Immediately after the operation I felt like my chest was in three separate places at once. Now I feel a lot more whole in my chest than before. Still they much break the breastbone to get in there and they tell me I have metal rods and screws holding things back together. I guess getting through airport security will be problematic for me from now on</p>

<p>Went out to White Rock Lake Park the other day and it was nice to get outside. I can walk pretty good and pretty far on flat levels - good thing Texas' is largely flat! - but I still get winded going up the stairs. Additionally, with this chest cold my lung capacity is diminished somewhat. I try to keep doing my breathing exercises to keep my lungs going well. Hopefully this cold will pass soon. A lot of Texas right now is getting the flu and I have not had flu shots (generally I don't get them) as flu shots were not a good idea to do with surgery. Hopefully I will not get the flu.</p>

<p>Work's still not an option and I haven not seen my surgeon nor cardiologist yet - that's next week. Texas Instruments requires that I'm out at least 4 weeks and, like a little kid, I have to return with a note from the doctor. It's interesting because TI actually deactivates my login ID to prevent me from working. I guess it's all for the best. Jeff, my boss, says that they've extended me until May, which is good but what happens after that? I mean I just got a couple of large bills to pay.</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Heart Problems</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2007/02/heart-problems.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2007:/blogs/Personal//5.614</id>

    <published>2007-02-02T03:11:21Z</published>
    <updated>2007-02-03T03:38:58Z</updated>

    <summary>EKG and Stress Echo After feeling winded or out of breath for a while I finally got into the doctor to have it checked out. First I had what they call a resting EKG on January 17, 2007 and then...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<h2>EKG and Stress Echo</h2>

<p>After feeling winded or out of breath for a while I finally got into the doctor to have it checked out. First I had what they call a <i>resting EKG</i> on January 17, 2007 and then Dr. Ton scheduled me for a <i>Stress Echo</i> the following Friday. You've seen them all the time were the man is walking on a treadmill hooked up to all kinds of wires. Before that though they take another resting EKG with you lying your side while they give you an ultrasound of your heart. I joked with the doctor asking whether it was a boy or a girl.</p>

<p>As for the treadmill portion I barely got 3 1/2 minutes done when the test was stopped and I was put on the table again to do the ultrasound thing again. Dr. Ton said that the test was positive and he wanted to get advice from a cardiologist, Dr. Allen Anderson. Of course now I was getting more and more worried.</p>

<p>They now wheel chaired me to the cardiologist. Dr. Anderson explained to me the working of the heart and that when I get stressed or exert myself my heart was not pumping correctly, particularly the lower front portion, thus my windedness. He explained that he wanted to do a <a href="http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4491">Cardiac Catheterization</a>.</p>

<h2>Cardiac Catheterization</h2>

<p>This procedure is where a small tube called a catheter through an incision in the groin area up to the heart. Then the doctor can use the catheter to inject ink and take more pictures of the heart or perform angioplasty where a balloon is inserted to stretch apart a partially blocked artery or insert a stint.</p>

<p>Dr. Anderson said that we should do this soon like next week. For some reason I was relieved that they were allowing me to go home for the weekend. We scheduled the procedure for the following Monday and I went home to deal with the shocking news I just received that this would be more serious as I had feared. I remember getting a pizza and a six pack of bear as all I wanted to do was to go home and spend the weekend on the couch. I also called Mary-Anne and Bill and Jeff from work to tell people what was happening. This started the grapevine working and I spend time on the phone with all of my family members.</p>

<h2>Cardiac Catheterization -> Double Bypass</h2>

<p>Eventually Monday (January 22, 2007) rolls around and catheterization procedure was actually quite easy however I was still quite uneasy with the troubling prognosis to date. During the procedure yet another cardiologist was called in to look at the results of the various tests including the ink test (which feels weird as warm ink is injected into your blood stream at your heart. Otherwise you pretty much cannot feel the catheter as it snakes through your veins).</p>

<p>The result was that one of three main arteries leading to my heart was 100% blocked while the other was 90% blocked. Basically not good! I was wheeled away to a staging area where the doctor explained the results to me and said he wanted to scheduled a double bypass for the following morning. I'm certain that I was given some sedatives to help me remain calm through the catheterization and afterward. Later nurses and other people came by and I recall signing a lot of documents and the like. Needless to say I was pretty much in shock. Part of this blog entry is to try to recapture the events/timelines as things moved pretty quick and/or times were hazy in my mind largely due to shock, stress or medications.</p>

<p>I believe I called Mary-Anne again to give her an update at this time and was wheeled to a room on the 6th floor of the hospital. I think Bill and Kent from work stopped by and Mary-Anne and Danielle arrived later that evening. I took a shower with antibacterial soap and a nurse shaved my entire body - odd feeling but my thoughts were much more about the major operation that I was scheduled for shortly</p>

<h2>Bypaass Surgery</h2>

<p>Mary-Anne and Danni got in late and back to the hotel late. It's really quite something when I think of how quickly they came to my aid even through between the shock, sedatives and worries my mind was occupied. On the morning of the surgery Mary-Anne was having difficulty finding the hospital again and barely made it before I was headed for the operating room, but they did make it.</p>

<p>It's at this time that things really get fuzzy in my mind. I do not recall entering the operating room nor being given any anestectic - not even the commonly talked about gas mask with the "count backward from 100..." thing. The next thing I remember was waking up in ICU.</p>

<h2>ICU</h2>

<p>Waking in ICU was strange. Of course I was sore and disoriented. I remember that Mary-Anne and Danni came in to visit and I believe Bill and David this time from work stopped by, although that doesn't make any sense as they are not family and I was in ICU for a few days because there was no space back on the 6th floor. Hey, I told you this part is still hazy to me.</p>

<h3>The Breathing Incident</h3>

<p>I remember in ICU having to do breathing exercises as an operation like this leaves the lungs with much fluid and you need to re-expand your air sacks in the lungs. These breathing exercises were done for 15 minute, 4 times a day and continued until I left the hospital. But the early ones immediately after the surgery were, of course, much more difficult.</p>

<p>At one time I could not properly breath. Taking a breath made me "wheeze" somewhat which caused me to cough and gasp for another breath. Let me tell you - you don't want to cough when your chest was just literally cracked open hours before! I could not catch my breath and the gasp/cough, gasp/cough continued. It is very frightening when you cannot breath! It is very frightening when you cough after such a surgery! Plus I was clutching my chest and tightening my chest muscles in such a way that the ICU nurses were telling me not to do that yet there was no way that I could see to stop doing that and get any air at all! Now during the operation you on a breathing tube and if need be I knew they were reinsert it. But I could not stand the thought of having that happen and me be awake!</p>

<p>An ICU nurse, a guy who's name still escapes me, helped me get up to a chair and sat and rubbed my back calming me down. <b>That dude saved my life!</b> - thanks dude!</p>

<p>After that scare I believe I was given some more pain meds. Now there was also a breathing apparatus that I was supposed to practice on on my own every hour. This one was powered by my own lungs whereas the other one forces air into your lungs as you inhale. Needless to say I made it a mission of mine to practice as much as I could because I damn sure did not want another incident like that one!</p>

<h2>ICU Nurses</h2>

<p>The ICU nurses are amazing. Nurses come in levels - levels of knowledge and personal care. The ICU nurses are on the top of the pack for sure. There was one named Amy (I think - geeze this is why I want to get this down) who was with me throughout the day. On the day after <i>The Breathing Incident</i> Amy really worked her wonders. Another things these nurses know are their pain meds. Amy gave me a couple of Percocets which really helped. I was able to get some sleep and afterwards felt great! It was at this point that I finally felt that I would "make it" whereas last night I thought I could easily have died.</p>

<p>I spent the next few days in ICU, not that I necessarily needed ICU but rather the 6th floor was filled. No matter, the care here was great. Pain meds, drawing of blood, draining fluids, breathing tests and practice and pulling of some of the tons of wires and tubes stuck in my chest was the order of the day here. I'm sure Mary-Anne and Danni visited a few times though again, order of events are still very hazy for me.</p>

<h2>The 6th Floor</h2>

<p>Eventually space freed up on the 6th floor and I was moved there. I received flowers from my sister, Cindy, as well as a fruit basket and nice card from my current client, Texas Instruments. I believe Bill and David visited as well as my older sister, Roxanne who arrived on Friday, visited. Each day I grew stronger. Breathing tests continued as well as breathing practice. Blood drawn, daily chest XRays, drainage of fluids, pain meds, diurects, monitoring of blood sugar, potassium, magnesium as well as potassium and magnesium IV drips, etc. were my life at this time. I also had a physical therapist that would help me take walks both in ICU and later on the 6th floor. Eventually I would just get up in the middle of the night where I could not sleep and do a few laps around the 6th floor.</p>

<p>We were still targeting for a release date of Saturday or Sunday and with Roxanne in we were set. We were still worried how I would survive at home with a set of 3 stories of steps to my apartment as well as be able to do the walking that was required while at home.</p>

<p>I must also say that I have had visits from various doctors including Dr. Ton, Dr. Anderson, Dr. Eckerson (the surgeon) and a few others. I got the feeling that not only the ICU nurse cared but the doctors did too.</p>

<h2>Homecoming</h2>

<p>I was released on Saturday, January 27, 2007 to go home. Mary-Anne, Danni and Roxanne were there to help me up the steps and I managed to get up them with a rest or two and to plop down into my newly bought recliner (Recliners of a <i>Right of Passage</i> for men. If you don't have one don't wait for open heart surgery to get one - they're great!).</p>

<p>Mary-Anne and Danni had a flight home for the next day and visited me in the morning before leaving. Roxanne would remain with me for the next two weeks. Again my strength was gaining with each hour. At first I took walks back and forth across the 3rd floor landing later adding going down only one flight of steps and back up. After a few days I added a few more landings. Now I'm going down and walking to the apartment complex office.</p>

<p>Being home is great. There's a sense of normalcy, comfort and familiarness that no hospital can give you. On the other side I do have to walk up a flight of steps to shower and showering, while refreshing, was exhausting at first but now pretty much a breeze. Having a nice recliner and access to the TV remote, access to my computer and entertainment of my own choosing is great. However I am growing restless and quite frankly want to get busy or productive again soon. I mean I typed all of this at midnight on February 2nd basically because I'm not sleepy yet. Plus as a contractor I don't get paid for not working. But Jeff, my boss at TI, insists that it's TI company policy that I sit out at least the required 4 weeks. I guess I should...</p>

<p>Super Bowl is coming up and Cindy's due to arrive for that so I'm looking forward to that. Tina, the middle sister, is coming a week after that followed by my brother Ray. It's nice to see all of the family again and I really appreciate them coming to my aid at this time.</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Why people steal software...</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2006/09/why-people-stea-1.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2006:/blogs/Personal//5.567</id>

    <published>2006-09-19T23:52:14Z</published>
    <updated>2007-02-03T16:02:10Z</updated>

    <summary>Some do because they are cheap... Some because of the thrill of it. But occasionally some people do out of sheer frustration. Case in point... Recently I got a PPC-6700 phone from Sprint. Along with the Pocket PC phone came...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Some do because they are cheap... Some because of the thrill of it. But occasionally some people do out of sheer frustration. Case in point...</p>

<p>Recently I got a PPC-6700 phone from Sprint. Along with the Pocket PC phone came software for synchronizing with Outlook, to be precise Outlook 2002 is contained on the set up disk. I've been having problems with this to no end probably because I don't have Office 2002 - I have Office 2000 (I hate Office but that's a whole nother story).</p>

<p>The phone will not synchronize with Outlook 2000 so it requires that Outlook 2002 is installed. So I'm in a weird situation where I have Outlook 2000 and 2002 installed and, of course, they don't like each other.</p>

<p>So I decide to completely remove Office 2000 and this Outlook 2002  then reinstall Office 2000 sans Outlook and Outlook 2002 from the Sprint installation disk.</p>

<p>But up comes a "Please enter your Product Key" dialog box. Well the Product Key is nowhere to be found after my recent move to Texas. So you think all I need to do is call up Sprint, explain my situation, and get another Product Key.</p>

<p>For 35 minutes I'm asked stupid questions from supposedly helpful tech support people who obviously do not have a clue. <b>35 fucking minutes of completely wasted time!!</b> While I finally got through to somebody who had 1/2 a clue as to what I needed he just said that I have to locate the flimsy CD case that contained my key - that there was no other way for me to get the key (save perhaps shelling out $200 for a copy of MS Office)!!! Meantime, while on hold I decided to crack through a copy of MS Office. Man I told that guy off - I mean 35 minutes of wasted time and he started telling me that I'd have to contact some other company to go through a process of obtaining a code. Fuck 'em! I hacked it instead.</p>

<p>Moral of the story? Screw licensing - just hack it. You can try to do it the legal way (and I do legally own a copy) and spin your wheels. Sometimes people steal software out of pure frustration!</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Ameriquest</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2004/05/ameriquest.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2004:/blogs/Personal//5.176</id>

    <published>2004-05-08T23:59:04Z</published>
    <updated>2005-09-22T05:54:23Z</updated>

    <summary>Well I have been blogging my status over on my status blog but I think it&apos;s time for a few entries over here. I&apos;ve been growing increasingly disheartened by Ameriquest. Yeah I know it&apos;s a typical &quot;business&quot; environment but usually...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Well I have been blogging my status over on my status blog but I think it's time for a few entries over here.</p>

<p>I've been growing increasingly disheartened by Ameriquest. Yeah I know it's a typical "business" environment but usually I can get by by just ignoring all that. Unfortunately Ameriquest is more like the military than just a bunch of confused manager wanna be's. </p>

<p>Anyways,  I made the mistake of talking to the lady who runs the PMO web site asking about the capabilities of the web server, which, of course, totally confused her. When I mentioned that I have been developing an application to capture a user's Clearcase information and to assist them in reporting problems she just about steamed up and told me in no uncertain terms that such an application must be OKed (code for you ain't doing it unless you get a mandate and you will do it our way) by the higher ups. This combined with the fact that I simply wanted to use my preferred email client and other software has been coming to a head such that Babu finally told me to remove all those useful utilities.</p>

<p>So Cygwin, Mozilla, Thunderbird, Trillian, et. al. are all gone now. I'm left with a totally crappy environment and quite frankly just a bad attitute and taste in my mouth for Ameriquest. Standard is better than better and don't you dare do anyting useful are the mottos of the day. OK fine. Then I'll just sit on my butt trying to think of the appropraite point and click madness necessary to acomplish simple tasks if that's what they want to pay me for. Mean time it's time to look for another job. This one sucks - big time...</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Case Management Conference</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2003/10/case-management.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2003:/blogs/Personal//5.123</id>

    <published>2003-10-23T22:55:04Z</published>
    <updated>2014-02-17T21:41:00Z</updated>

    <summary>Today was the Case Management Conference but before that Stan asked me to stop by his office. When I got there he was eating lunch. As is apparently Stan&apos;s nature he was chewing on a granola bar and pondering something....</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Today was the Case Management Conference but before that Stan asked me to stop by his office. When I got there he was eating lunch. As is apparently Stan's nature he was chewing on a granola bar and pondering something. He told me that he would really like to get a settlement completed and proceded to his computer to bring up the Martial Settlement Agreement. I suggested that we review the community property spreadsheet and told him that I have updated figures.</p>

<p>We mulled about that spreadsheet a bit and Stan asked me what kind of a settlement do I envision would be fair and that he knows what will probably happen. So I asked him what would probably happen. He said that I should probably offer something smaller like $750 for 4 months (which is effectively $3000 instead of the $1500 for 3 months which would be $4500). Sly but not exactly what I had in mind.</p>

<p>I told him that Olga is basically removable as charged and should just go home and that I did not feel it was right for me to have to support somebody who is unlawfully present and is removable. I think that surprised him but after telling him about INA law and the fact that she cannot adjust status in anyway I think I convinced him.</p>

<p>We then went to court. Since we were both going there he hitched a ride with me. During the car ride I explained more about why I feel that I should not be required to support Olga and that she should just go home. I told Stan it's not revenge I seek it's justice! Olga is probably scamming the next guy and the INS supports the notion that people who are criminals should not be allowed into this country.</p>

<p>At the court we sat there for about an hour. Stan and Olga's attorney, Tracy, sat up front and were talking most of the time. I believe that Stan was showing her my spreadsheet and other supporting documentation. Unfortunately I could not read Tracy's face.</p>

<p>After court we went outside to discuss the issues. I quickly excused myself to use the rest room and when I came out Stan was there. To my surprise he stated that we should offer that I forgive Olga's debt to me and she forgos the spousal support. If that's not acceptable then I can offer the spousal support but that gets deducted from Olga's share of community debt, but she'd still owe me the rest (roughly $20K). Personally I believe that if I forgive all the debt thus losing $20K in the deal then I want at least a letter from Olga saying that she will comply with the INS and voluntarily depart the US.</p>

<p>Stan mentioned that we'll need statements for all of these numbers. I was just waiting for that! So I whipped out my 50 some odd pages of supporting documentation and said "Already done".</p>

<p>We then walked out of the court house with Tracy towards the garage. I was sort of suprised that Stan did not offer Tracy our supporting documentation so I mentioned to Tracy that I have all the supporting documentation already and we'll be able to get them to her in no time. I also mentioned that if Olga wants the Eclipse she can have it - just take over the payments!</p>

<p>I think I might have finally gotten the lawyer on my side! Geeze the work you need to do as a client! Did I say this before? <a href="/blogs/Personal/archives/2003/10/lawyers-suck.html">Lawyers Suck!</a></p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Ditz</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2003/10/ditz.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2003:/blogs/Personal//5.125</id>

    <published>2003-10-23T15:33:02Z</published>
    <updated>2005-09-22T05:54:22Z</updated>

    <summary>Spoke to my attorneys secretary/receptionist today... This receptionist is really a ditz! Apparently the CMC is at 1:30 Pm. Anyways, I mentioned that I had not heard from Stan even though the fax that she sent me had a letter...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Spoke to my attorneys secretary/receptionist today... This receptionist is really a ditz! Apparently the CMC is at 1:30 Pm. Anyways, I mentioned that I had not heard from Stan even though the fax that she sent me had a letter from him dated Oct 17 stating that he would like to speak to me that afternoon. This must have overloaded the poor gal and she asked me if I wanted to leave a message telling Stan to call me. Look I'm just tell you what I see! Apparently he wanted to talk to me, not I wanted to talk to him. My assumption is that if he said he wanted to talk to me then he meant that he wanted to talk to me. I'm funny that way I guess! Anyways, he can call me if he wants or not. I don't care. I don't know what he wanted to talk to me about! Geeze and the probably pay her good money too.</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Lawyers Suck</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2003/10/lawyers-suck.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2003:/blogs/Personal//5.126</id>

    <published>2003-10-21T15:33:39Z</published>
    <updated>2014-02-17T19:45:15Z</updated>

    <summary>Lawyers suck! I have two of them and while I can say that they are incompetent, I can say they are rarely responsive. If I worked like they did I&apos;d be fired! Now I realize a lot of people hate...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Lawyers suck! I have two of them and while I can say that they are incompetent, I can say they are rarely responsive. If I worked like they did I'd be fired! Now I realize a lot of people hate lawyers but I've always thought that when you think about it, nobody goes to a lawyer when things are good. If you're already in a bad mood and the lawyer must relay to you the bad news of your situation then of course your not going to like them all that much.</p>

<p>However, my experiences with these two is leading me to understand more of why people may hate lawyers. For one they really are not alway looking out for your best interests. They prefer a cookie cutter case that they can apply a cookie cutter solution to. Case in point, my divorce attorney is just trying to settle things. He was told that my s2bx will be staying here in the US on a work visa. It was me who had to point out to him that if she did manage to get a work visa then she has a sponser and a job and that that would change spousal support radically. Now isn't it supposed to be him who should be catching such things?!?</p>

<p>Nevermind he never is around and doesn't contact me. The other day (Oct 17th) his office sent me a fax that said that he was in court that morning but that he definitely needs to speak with me about the contents of the fax and would be contacting me that afternoon. Needless to say he still hasn't contacted me!</p>

<p>The fax spoke of paperwork that opposing counsel has been requesting since July - paperwork I've submitted twice now!</p>

<p>Forgive me if I'm wrong but isn't managing his case load his business!</p>

<p>Argh! And you wonder why I spent last weekend preparing for the upcoming Case Management Conference. I tell ya, if you do not watch out for your own best interests then you're screwed. Lawyers, it seems, do not want to be bothered with really doing their job. And I've been in contact with probably about 15 lawyers courtesy of my s2bx, anywhere from immigartion attorneys to criminal attorneys to family law practitioners (BTW Why is it that they are always "practicing" law? Answer: Because they still don't appear to have it right!) and so far all 15 were very similar (with exception of perhaps one)</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Legal Paperwork</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2003/10/legal-paperwork.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2003:/blogs/Personal//5.127</id>

    <published>2003-10-19T13:21:46Z</published>
    <updated>2005-09-22T05:54:22Z</updated>

    <summary>Divorce Spent all of today gathering and arranging legal paperwork, which was really my mission for this weekend. Located and scanned in everything so that it&apos;s available to me via my web site. This should keep the bitch from burnning...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p><a href="/Divorce">Divorce</a></p>

<p>Spent all of today gathering and arranging legal paperwork, which was really my mission for this weekend. Located and scanned in everything so that it's available to me via my web site. This should keep the bitch from burnning paperwork like she did before!</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

<entry>
    <title>Legal Stuff</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/archives/2003/10/legal-stuff.html" />
    <id>tag:defaria.com,2003:/blogs/Personal//5.128</id>

    <published>2003-10-19T13:12:11Z</published>
    <updated>2005-09-22T05:54:22Z</updated>

    <summary>Spent last night trying to get my legal paperwork together for the upcomming battle with the s2bx. Didn&apos;t get very far. This is like the 3rd time I&apos;ve had to do this. Argh!...</summary>
    <author>
        <name></name>
        <uri>http://defaria.com</uri>
    </author>
    
    
    <content type="html" xml:lang="en" xml:base="http://defaria.com/blogs/Personal/">
        <![CDATA[<p>Spent last night trying to get my legal paperwork together for the upcomming battle with the s2bx. Didn't get very far. This is like the 3rd time I've had to do this. Argh!</p>]]>
        
    </content>
</entry>

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