Sometimes when I find a woman's profile is well written and interesting I take the time out to write a longer response because I feel a connection on a few levels. And this is the kind of response that you typically get. Men, don't bother writing long responses as often women will treat you like this one.
neptonia had the following long profile (reproduced here so that you get the full picture):
Please read this entirely before contacting me. Thanks!
I asked friends for three words and the first response was, "alluring, amusing, and amazing." A close second was, "sassy smart vixen."
I'm not your typical geek. I prefer waking early in the mornings. I prefer real life, and I shower regularly unless I'm in a country without potable water. I believe that technology should be unobtrusive, but beautiful. I also believe technology should be left at home occasionally. And I have a healthy streak of sarcasm.
I love live bands, a science museum, or reading a good book. I'll try just about anything once except for jumping out of a perfectly good plane. And I'll take a campfire, or a morning kayak any day of the week.
Over the years, I've formed some very strong opinions about touchy subjects. I don't believe that politics, religion, and sex should be avoided on a first date, so I'll mention them here and get them out in the open.
- I am monogamous and you should be too. I love my polyamorous friends, but I have a hard enough time finding one guy to date, let alone many.
- If you are under 28, turn back now. I am not a cougar. I am not a notch in your bedpost, and no, you can not come over so you can do your laundry. If I wanted a child, I'd adopt.
- I am a strong-willed, confident, independent woman. I do not need nor want constant hand holding--literally or figuratively. I'm not a big fan of public displays of affection and I don't need to be in constant contact with you physically or electronically. I'll respect that you have a job and are busy and expect you will do the same for me.
- I'm not interested in organized religion. I consider myself a recovering Catholic. It's like being a recovering alcoholic--I'm never not one, I just don't practice. It is hard to get past the brainwashing. I broke up with the Catholic Church because I shouldn't be treated differently because I'm a woman. Neither should gay people for that matter. And sex isn't a sin.
- I don't believe in God or Jesus any more than I believe in Zeus and Hercules. They are stories that ancient people told.
- I get my news from NPR, The NYTimes, The Atlantic, and other online sources. I don't watch network news because of its sensationalism. I definitely never watch Fox News, if you can call it that.
- I am centrist, but am forced to vote on the left because I think the right has gone off the deep end. I'd like to see balanced budgets with cuts made all around--leaving the departments to decide how to implement them--and tax loopholes removed. I'd love it if the government were more efficient, but I think they would have to hire smarter people first.
- Science is something you understand, not something you believe in. I understand the effects humankind has had on global warming and am trying to do my part to stop it.
- I'm a vegetarian. I'm not against people eating meat, but you should understand where meat comes from, the effect it has on the environment and have made your peace with it. I will occasionally eat meat when it is something special.
- Ignorance is never an excuse. I actually don't believe in excuses. I try to own up to things I get wrong. If I'm late, it's because I didn't plan enough time to get where I was going.
- I believe in becoming friends before lovers. In other words, I'm not interested in making out with you or going home with you on a first, second, or third date. I am a long-term, Wall Street investment, not a Vegas slot machine.
- I don't believe in having sex as often as you brush your teeth. I enjoy sex and I don't want to go weeks without it if I'm in a relationship, but if you are unable to go weeks without it, I'll never trust you when we are apart.
- Speaking of brushing your teeth, I go to the dentist every six months and appreciate good teeth. It is hard to kiss someone with bad teeth.
- I never want to be in a situation where I consider getting an abortion, but if I do, I want safe, legal choices.
- I have shot guns before. I don't own any and have no interest in being with someone who does. I'm a firm believer that the pen is mightier than the sword. And the people I know who own guns are usually the most mentally unstable people I know.
- I am a feminist, but I won't balk at a little chivalry like holding the door open for me.
- I don't like country or rap music. I will tolerate it in small doses, but don't expect me to grow to like it.
- I have worked hard to get where I am and I expect you to have as well. Ambition is a turn on.
- Decades ago, I took the batteries out of my biological clock and hid it in the closet. If you decide to find it and put fresh batteries in it, you'd better mean it. I'm pretty convinced at this point that I don't want to be chasing toddlers around in my 40's.
If you got this far and laughed because you feel the same way, then keep reading. ;-)
What I'm doing with my life
Working at a job I love. Traveling far and wide. Golfing as the sun rises. Running, although I don't have to do another half marathon to prove anything. Biking to save the environment. Photographing my adventures. Blogging about it all.
I'm really good at
(according to the friends I surveyed)
- Photography (I'm just an amateur)
- Having fun
- Traveling/Vacations (They assure me, if anyone is good at this, it is me)
- "Walking my dog" (I use air quotes because I wish it was a euphemism)
- Innocent-sounding provocations
The first things people usually notice about me
My sparkling personality--that is if they are actually listening to me and not looking at my cleavage.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I hate picking favorites.
The six things I could never do without
1. My family & friends
2. My pets (although they are getting older)
3. My iPhone (unless I'm on vacation)
4. My Nikon D3200
5. My imagination
6. My sense of humor
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where to travel to next. What's on your short list?
On a typical Friday night I am
Having dinner with friends, participating in a birthday scavenger hunt in the city, taking an overnight flight somewhere fun, or on the couch with my pets catching up on the TiVo.
The better question is, "What am I doing on Saturday morning?" I could be at the farmer's market, on a run, or on a bike ride. I might take my dog to the beach, play golf, or take a book and a blanket and lay out in the back yard. Or maybe I'll be in another state or country doing touristy things. Sometimes I sleep in because I did too much on Friday night!
What do you do on Saturday mornings?
The most private thing I'm willing to admit
Is written in my blog. Feel free to search the web for it.
You should message me if
You think you can make me laugh. And if you can use spell check, proper grammar, and type complete words.
Tell me about what kind of car you drive and why. Everyone has a story, what is yours?
So I responded in a detailed fashion:
[not proofread, but relatively accurate...]
OK, I read your profile. I will respond, it'll be easy because there are so many interesting things to respond to in your profile. However women have a tendency of not responding at all - perhaps you've noticed... ah, probably not - so spending too much time could easily be a total waste of my time. If nothing else, could you shoot me a response back saying you got my message? I ask because I believe that dating sites like OKCupid often throttle men.
I will not address everything in your profile - I'll leave parts to hopefully be discussed over a glass of wine.
Alrighty, to the profile: Geek eh? Love your job. What is your job? I run a small computer consulting firm so I'm a qualified geek.
Monogamous? Check. Over 28. Check. "If I wanted a child, I'd adopt"? Love it! That's a good line.
I think a public display of affection should be just enough that people realize you're together.
Me, 100% atheist. I'm a member of several atheist groups in fact but I don't always attend any of them as they are often preaching to the choir! Heh, a joke! I don't need to get past the brain washing as I never really believed in the first place. I think the recent SCOTUS decision was great and now can the gays and lesbians frigging stop bitching about things. Yes you now get to enjoy all the lovely benefits of gay divorce! Yes I'm against gay marriage. Then again I'm against straight marriage too. Or, rather, I think that marriage should not be something that the government does nor endorses nor promotes. In short it's just none of their business. Marriage is essentially forming a corp or other contracted agreements. Let the courts handle dissolution of marriages but there shouldn't be any extra benefits for married people.
I get my news from http://news.google.com. Where's your geek cred?
I'm constantly amazed that people think of politics only in two dimensions. Dems or Repubs? Really? The world is not 2 dimensional - why is your politics? There are other parties ya know. I'm libertarian but I can hold a conversation with an anarchist and admit they have very good points. To me freedom is paramount because if you don't have that, nothing else really matters. Government will never be efficient - that's why the Founders stressed so hard in a *limited* government. "Government governs best that which governs least" as has been said.
I know where meat comes from and I know it has ecological effects. So does eating plants.
I agree ignorance is not an excuse. I also say sure you are entitled to your opinion - but it must be an informed and thoughtfully considered opinion.
As for making out, attraction and sex, sorry but I have a 3 date rule. Why? Well in my mind if you don't have a serious interest in exploring the other person and a close, intimate level by the 3rd date then you don't have any chemistry and the chances are high that you never will. At that point your just wasting your time and missing out on a great possibility with somebody else. I believe in cutting your loses. And no, you should never trust that a man will go weeks on end without sex. It's like asking somebody not to eat.
If you believe in chivalry at all then you're no feminist. Speaking of which, how exactly do you define chivalry and more importantly, what is the role of the female in this? Because to me it's totally lopsided and I refuse to participate in unfair institution. Make fair and I'll play along.
To me rap is music for the tone deaf!
OK, I think you can agree that read your profile. Now can you return the favor and respond to me. I'll be waiting, but not for too long. Limited time offer.
Please present your coupons before ordering.
Since sometimes I sense time period where OKCupid seems to throttle men and I get no messages nor even a visit or like for a month or so I decided since this chick's into technology and speaks about her blog that I'd check it out. Found her on Twitter (neptonia) I'd tweet here to tell her that I sent her a message on OKCupid. I was traveling at the time and when I touched down at SFO I decided to check to see if she responded to me on Twitter only to find out she simply blocked me! So I responded to her with:
I tweeted you earlier to let you know I messaged you here. Just checked twitter and you blocked me. That's cold man. I didn't deserve that! That was really mean and uncalled for. Ask yourself if you're really that mean to people. If you weren't interested the pillow thing to do would be to simply say you weren't interested. You should really all yourself if this is really the kind of person you want to be...
This is usually where everybody asks in anticipation "Well what did she say?". She said nothing. My money's on she will say nothing and she will block me on OKCupid and curse guys as having anger issues or needing validation. Really? No honey, what I need is for you to act normal!